‘im tearing myself apart’
by deepestfathoms
Summary: Veronica Sawyer is almost one hundred percent positive her parents just disowned her and shipped her off to Evanston to live with her cousin, whom she barely sees. Of course, it wasn’t put like that, but she knows it’s practically abandonment. Oh well. A new start could be good for her. Unfortunately, her sins come crawling after her and the black hands of trauma are wrapping aroun
1. What a Beautiful Freakin’ Day

Janis didn't know how she felt about her cousin moving in with her family. She found it odd. Why couldn't she just stay with her own family?

Her parents said that her cousin needed some time away from Sherwood for junior year and this might be a chance for her to make new friends. They said she needed a new start, whatever that meant.

Veronica Sawyer was a year younger than Janis and shorter than her, but they had been each other's doppelgängers when they were younger. Now that Janis has grown and dyed her hair, the similarities had diminished. It's actually been awhile since Janis had seen Veronica- or even talked to her- so she was curious as to how the girl has changed.

She changed a lot, apparently.

When an Uber pulled up in front of her house, Janis watched as a pale, weary-looking teenager stepped out. Her skin was ashen and dark purple bags looked like bruises under her dull eyes. Still, Veronica made an effort to smile at Mr and Mrs. Sarkisian as she walked up to stoop to greet them. Janis watched as her cousin flinched violently when she was hugged, like she thought she was going to be hit or something.

"Hey, Vera," Janis said, finally emerging from the house.

"Hey, Janis." Veronica replied with a shy smile.

Veronica had always been more reserved than Janis, but something seemed off. She seemed more more anxious than usual, constantly glancing around like someone was going to jump out of nowhere and attack her.

Janis then remembered what her parents had told her. Veronica was suffering from trauma- PTSD. She wasn't told what caused this to form within her cousin, but she really wanted to know. Alas, she would have to wait.

"Janis, dear," Mrs. Sarkisian spoke, "Show Veronica to her room."

"Alright."

Janis led her cousin up the stairs and to the guest bedroom.

"Enjoy your stay," She said with a mock bow, getting a small laugh out of Veronica.

"Thanks."

The smaller girl slipped into the room and set her things down. She had five bags in total. A suitcase and a duffle bag for her clothes, one for her brush and makeup and toothbrush etc, a computer bag with her laptop, journals, and pens, and then her backpack. She really was going to stay awhile.

Janis hung around the doorway for a moment, watching as Veronica fidgeted and put her things away. She would occasionally glance over at her, but didn't say anything.

"It's been awhile." Janis finally said, trying to make things less awkward.

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Veronica nodded while putting her clothes in the closet. "I like your hair."

"Thanks!" Janis smirked, "My friend Damian helped me dye it. I'll introduce you to him tomorrow at school."

Veronica bobbed her head again. She seemed more distant than Janis remembered. Sure, she was never a social butterfly but she just seemed to isolated and locked up.

"Well, I'll let you unpack!" Janis said, walking back to her own room. She didn't know how this would all go, but she hoped nothing would go wrong.

North Shore was just as wild as Westerburg. Students were lumbering around, yelling, talking, fighting. The courtyard was a mess of people all doing their own thing. Veronica lost Janis in the crowd and started to get claustrophobic.

"Woah! Check out that football field! It's huge!"

Veronica looked around and saw the trio of blue figures of the three teenagers she murdered. Kurt and Ram were eyeing the sports field while Heather gazed upon the students like she was ready to make them bow down to her.

"Do you guys really have to be here?" Veronica mumbled.

"You can't get rid of us!" Ram laughed.

"Literally." Heather said. "We're practically roped to you. We can't go anywhere else."

Veronica didn't know if they were just really vivid hallucinations or actual ghosts. They almost seemed to be alive and showed up often enough to be spirits, and the dizziness that accompanied their arrival felt real enough.

"Then help me find Janis."

Suddenly, the ghosts didn't seem interested in bothering her. They talked amongst themselves, showing no interest in helping. Veronica sighed.

"Don't look so sad!" Kurt threw his arm around her shoulder. His touch was ice cold. "This is a new start for you! Nobody knows how you murdered three people and caused the death of one more."

Veronica winced and shrugged off his arm. She didn't know how they were able to interact with her like they were actually there. She thought ghosts weren't able to touch things. Apparently they can.

"You're not helping.."

"We aren't trying to." Heather said bluntly. "Now, chop chop! I want to see this place."

Veronica sighed and began weaving through the crowd. A few people glanced at her and whispered about her being new, but she didn't hear anything too horrible. She looked around for Janis nervously, calling out her name a few times. Her anxiety was relieved slightly when she finally caught sight of her cousin and padded over.

"Janis, I was looking for you." She said.

"Oh, sorry for running off," Janis laughed slightly and then turned back to the group she was hanging around. "Guys, this is my cousin, Veronica. She's the girl I've been telling you about. She'll be living with me."

The people were introduced as Cady, Damian, Aaron, Regina, Gretchen, and Karen respectively. Veronica shyly greeted them, still feeling the presence of the ghosts lingering behind her. She opened her mouth to actually introduce them, but then stopped right when she pointed to Heather and said, "This is H-" Her ears burned in embarrassment as her cousin's friends gave her odd looks.

"I appreciate the attempt at introducing us, at least." Heather said, putting her hands on her hips.

"Uh-" Veronica cleared her throat. "Nothing. Sorry, I keep thinking my old friends are with me. We were always together."

"Nice save." Ram commented.

"Though you 'weren't always together'," Kurt piped up. "You spent most of the summer alone in your room. It was so boring!"

Ram and Heather each gave their nods of agreement. Even Veronica couldn't deny that. She did coop herself up in her room when she wasn't getting fresh air to soothe her dizziness or going to her therapist.

"Aww," Gretchen cooed in sympathy. "We'll be you new friends! Right, guys?"

They all seemed to give pretty sincere nods. Veronica was then bombarded with questions about herself, which she answered as best as she could. She was happy to not be left out or alone, but she also felt smothered.

The bell finally rang and Veronica stumbled through the halls with her schedule to find her first period, which was Algebra II. And she was horribly late after she asked for directions to the room from some seniors and was directed to the upper C wing.

There was no upper C wing.

After finally finding the D wing with all the math classes, she hiked up the stairs and checked her phone. Fifteen minutes late. Wonderful.

"Act natural." Ram advised when she got to the room.

"Don't freak out." Kurt added.

"Just say you're new. They'll probably understand." Heather said.

Veronica opened the door and stepped inside. The teacher, a middle-aged brunette woman, stopped talking and the class turned to stare at her.

"You're late." The teacher said.

"I-I'm sorry." Veronica stuttered, "I'm new." She held out the blue slip of paper with her schedule on it.

The teacher took it from her and scanned it for a moment.

"Veronica Sawyer?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Alright. Where are you from?"

Veronica had turned to find a seat and then froze. She wasn't expecting to be asked any question.

"Ma'am?"

"I asked where you're from. What brings you to Evanston?"

"O-oh, umm-"

Veronica assumed she couldn't say how her parents basically disowned her because her trauma was becoming too much to handle. How they couldn't deal with her thrashing and screaming in her sleep anymore. How her anxiety was deteriorating them and their happiness.

She swallowed hard. She hadn't considered it abandonment until now. But surely they were coming back for her! She just didn't know when.

"Sherwood, Ohio. I came from Westerburg High. I'm living with my cousins now." Veronica quickly explained after thirty seconds of her saying nothing and just standing their awkwardly. "Do you know Janis Sarkisian? I'm staying with her."

The teacher nodded thoughtfully.

"Wasn't Westerburg the school that blew up?" Some kid in the second row asked loudly. A few murmurs went through the class.

A dizzy spell hit Veronica like a violent tidal wave. She curled her toes and struggled to not stagger backwards.

"That's enough." The teacher said before she could answer. "Please take a seat, Veronica."

Veronica nodded and shuffled over to an empty desk.

"Could you have made your dwindling mental state anymore obvious?" Heather said, sitting on the desk beside Veronica's. Of course, the student there didn't notice.

Veronica bit her tongue. She wanted to answer, but surely someone would hear her talking to nobody. She didn't want her new classmates to think she was insane.

First period went well enough and Veronica was soon searching for second. Lunch quickly rolled around after fourth period, but she had no idea where to sit up until Janis waved her over. Probably because Veronica looked so damn pitiful spinning around in the cafeteria, clearly lost.

"So, Veronica," Cady started, "How do you like living with Janis?"

Veronica blinked at her. What kind of question was that?

"Wow. That is scraping the bottom of the barrel with an attempt at small talk." Heather commented and Veronica snorted.

"It's...nice?" Veronica tilted her head. "I'm not used to living with anyone except my parents."

"Well, who's this? Another girl the dyke tied to her bed?"

Veronica looked over her shoulder to see some guy leering down at her. Janis had her jaw clenched, which she also noticed.

"Go away, Peter." Regina said, rolling her eyes. "Her name is Janis and that's her cousin."

"Oh, so now the dyke is fucking her family members now, too? I knew she was desperate, but not this desperate!" The boy, Peter, chortled.

"Leave her alone." Veronica growled, glaring at Peter.

"I'm sorry, are you actually talking to me?" Peter loomed over her.

"Yes, I am." Veronica said back confidently. "I want to know what gives you the right to pick on my cousin. You're a high school has-been waiting to happen, a future gas station attendant."

The tables nearby were silent, as was Peter. He stared hard at Veronica before growling deep in his throat.

"I'll get you back for this." He spat before storming off.

"That was amazing, darling!" Damian cheered, clasping his hands with Veronica's.

"You really showed him." Gretchen laughed and Karen nodded rapidly in agreement.

Janis nudged Veronica's arm over the commotion of her friends and smiled.

"Thanks." She said.

"No problem." Veronica replied.

But there was this sinking feeling in her stomach that she couldn't understand. She knew for a fact this wouldn't be the last time her insides would twist up painfully.


	2. severed heads on my pillow

It's been two weeks since Veronica has moved to Evanston. By now she's grown accustomed to this new world and has gotten used to everything.

At school she usually hangs around Janis' group of friends, but she doesn't always partake in their conversations. She just lingers around them so she wouldn't seem like a complete outcast. She sits with them at lunch, but is also pretty quiet there, too. At least they added her to their wild group chat.

During breakfast, she sits at an empty table and quietly talks to the ghosts until the bell rings. They've become her little group and are really good at keeping her company.

Two weeks was a good stretch, and then things started to crash down on Veronica. Every moment of every day felt like a grain of sand falling through an hourglass. Her stomach knotted together. Just the mere thought of all the humiliation she would face made her want to vomit.

Maybe she did.

Big Gay: what's up homos let's do something

Gaylien: i one hundred percent Agree and Regina is buying

team.mom: Why me?

Gaylien: you have money

AfricaByToto: Janis is right

team.mom: Ugh. Fine. Where do you little shits want to go?

Gaylien: thanks mom

Big Gay: love you mom

team.mom: Shut the fuck up.

Gwetchen: food

cornHub: food

troybolton: football game

AfricaByToto: lets watch The Lion King 2

Gaylien: Hooters

Big Gay: karaoke

team.mom: Okay, let's compromise and got to the mall.

Gaylien: fine with me Victoria's Secret is there so i can look at some tots

AfricaByToto: tots

troybolton: tots

Gwetchen: tots

cornHub: tots

Gaylien: TITS

Gaylien: TITTIES!!!!!

Big Gay: it physically hurts her when she spells her favorite things in the world wrong

team.mom: Will you guys stop screaming about tits? I'm driving over to pick everyone up now. You better be ready.

team.mom: Also is Veronica coming?

Gaylien: dunno

Gaylien: let me ask her since she apparently doesn't have her fuckin phone on her

troybolton: does anyone remember the fucking watershed????

Gaylien: y'all she's asleep what do

Gaylien sent a photo- sleepyronnie.jpg

Big Gay: AWWWW

AfricaByToto: wow your cousin is?? so cute and smol???

cornHub: a baby

Gwetchen: Karen speaks the truth

Gaylien: gonna wake her up

team.mom: Don't. Let her sleep.

Gwetchen: YOURE DRIVING?????

team.mom: I'm parked outside your fucking house.

Gwetchen: oh

Gwetchen: coming!!

Gaylien: Operation: Wake Ronnie Up is a go!!!

Big Gay: oh my god

AfricaByToto: rip Ronnie

Gwetchen: Regina says you're horrible, Janis

Gaylien: yes

troybolton: water???shed?????

Gaylien sent a video- operationwakeronnieup.mov

AfricaByToto: she looks so fucking scared oh my god

Big Gay: someone save her

cornHub: u woke the baby

Gwetchen: SHE THREW HERSELF OUT OF THAT BED

Gwetchen: 1) Troy we're at your house 2) I showed Regina the video and she's like an Angry Mom

team.mom: JANIS MIRANDA SARKISIAN WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU

Gaylien: everything

team.mom: So let me get this straight... You see your cousin sleeping and you think to yourself, "Hey! I'll pull a prank on her by putting a mannequin head on the pillow next to her to scare the shit out of her" and then you actually do it?

Gaylien: seems about right

Gaylien: don't worry, she's fine!

babyblue: Yeah.

troybolton: w a te r sh ed

babyblue: ??????

The car ride over to the mall was loud, even though everyone seemed to be simultaneously texting in the group chat at the same time. Veronica was sitting next to Janis and Damian. The ghosts were on the floorboards, but only she could see them hugging their knees, since there was barley any space.

"We were never this loud." Heather said, wincing at all the noise.

Veronica subtly nodded her head in agreement. She wanted to talk to them, but didn't want her new friends to think she was weird or crazy, so she stayed quiet until she could branch off in the mall.

After twenty-five minutes of driving, the unholy group of teenagers hopped out of Regina's car and herded inside of the mall. Veronica followed them around like a duckling until everyone seemed to go in different directions. She spun around in confusion, not sure on where she should go.

"God, Veronica," Heather said. "Stop looking so pitiful and sad. This is a mall. Do whatever you want."

"What do you guys want to do?" Veronica asked.

The ghosts looked surprised at the questions, but obliged to answer immediately. So that's how she spent the mall trip, going wherever three ghosts (or possible hallucinations) directed her.

She went to Macy's and Heather started looking through a variety of dresses. She interacted with everything like she wasn't see-through, but Veronica was almost positive everyone else couldn't see how the things she touched moved. Or maybe they did. Maybe that's how paranormal stuff and objects moving on their own worked.

Heather ordered Veronica to try on stupid dresses, mainly red ones, but then objected to how red was not her color.

"Even I could have told you that," Kurt piped up, "And I never match."

"Yes, I know." Heather said. "Some of your outfits made me embarrassed for you."

Veronica laughed slightly, but she felt guilt twist her heart. She shouldn't be the one to try on these bright red and really nice clothes, Heather should. But Heather couldn't. Because she took a way her humanity.

Her life.

"What's with the long face?"

Heather's voice snapped Veronica out of her daze. She shook her head, blinking away the blurriness that edged her vision.

"Nothing." She said, "Kurt, Ram? Where do you guys want to go next?"

team.mom: Okay, where is everyone?

troybolton: Nike store

AfricaByToto: by the fountain

Gwetchen: Build-A-Bear with Karen

Big Gay: on the escalator with Janis

team.mom: Yes, I can see her slowly rising up to the second level while T-posing.

team.mom: Veronica?

team.mom: Veronica??

babyblue: Here!

babyblue: I'm upstairs by that little amusement park area. With the merry-go-round.

babyblue: There's some birthday party going on. For

AfricaByToto: ????

cornHub: for who

Big Gay: for who Veronica

Gaylien: VERONICA FOR WHO DONT LEAVE US HANGING

Big Gay: HOW DARE

It was a birthday for Heather.

Veronica wasn't too sure why that triggered something within her, but something felt wrong all of a sudden. The air became thicker and hard to breathe. The atmosphere was heavy. Everything was way too loud.

Little girls were gathered at the party table, singing Happy Birthday for Heather, who was beaming. She blew out the candles on her cake. Everyone cheered. The cheering sounded like screaming and nails on chalkboard in Veronica's ears.

Something was wrong. Oh god, something was wrong. Something was wrong and it's slipping out through her fingers and spilling everywhere. She tries to regain her grasp but it's all breaking open.

It's like Veronica's underwater. Sounds are muffled and her movements are slow. Her breathing picks up and she stands up off of the bench she has been resting on. She tries to flee, but she bumps into someone and shrieks. She swore there was a bullet hole in the woman's head.

Veronica stumbled and staggered backwards, knocking into people which caused her to yelp loudly. She finally managed to spin around and hurry away, breathing heavily. One hand was clutching at her chest. Her head started to hurt.

"Veronica!"

She heard the ghosts shouting her name as they scuttled after her. She shivered. Their presence made the air around them freezing cold.

"Veronica, wait!"

They caught up with her pace.

"Are you going to freak out every time you hear or see the name 'Heather'?" Kurt asked, tilting his head.

"It's not that." Veronica rasped, weaving through people. Some glanced back at her because her loud breathing made her sound like she was having an asthma attack.

"Then what is it?" Ram asked.

"I don't know.."

Veronica skidded to a halt in front of a fountain, trying to get air into her lungs. Her face was stark white and everyone could probably tell that something was wrong. She shut her eyes tightly and dug her hand in her pocket for some change.

She wished that she was okay. She wished that she could go out without having every little thing scare her. She wished that the gods would smite her now and exchange her life for the three she stole.

She tossed the coin into the fountain, knowing damn well nobody would hear her prayers.

Gaylien: does anyone have gum?

AfricaByToto: it's one in the morning and we're all at our own houses???

Gaylien: okay but do you have any gum??

troybolton: GO TO SLEEP

Gwetchen: wow Troy is triggered

Big Gay: you know Janis won't sleep even if you yell at her

Gaylien: Damian gets it

team.mom: Jfc you guys.

AfricaByToto: hi Regina! you're up too?

team.mom: Unfortunately.

Gaylien: ALDNAKSHAOANDHEHA

team.mom: ?!?!?!

Gwetchen: wtf

AfricaByToto: Janis????

Big Gay: WHAT'S WRONG?

troybolton: Damian is so concerned

Gaylien: i swear to god i just heard Veronica scream.


	3. my wings are mangled under claws

"Veronica, you have to eat."

Veronica looked up from her tray of food from the cafeteria. She had bought breakfast, but she didn't touch it. She felt guilty for spending money in her account for something she wasn't going to eat.

"Not hungry." She mumbled.

"Then why did you buy it?" Kurt blinked at her.

"I'm asking myself the same thing."

Heather rolled her eyes.

"I'm not haunting someone that's just going to starve themselves." She said firmly. "Eat. Now."

Veronica jumped at her stern tone and nodded quickly, picking at the eggs on her tray. She took a few bites, but couldn't eat everything because her stomach kept churning in disapproval. She sighed heavily.

"At least you tried." Ram pats her shoulder. "A for effort!"

Veronica smiled wryly at him.

"Thanks."

The bell soon rang and she lumbered off to Algebra II. The class was unbelievably boring and she almost found herself nodding off, but kept waking herself up. She couldn't fall asleep in class. If she did, she might have a nightmare and that would be embarrassing.

Her first few classes dragged on quickly, but weren't very eventful. During lunch, she sat at the end of Janis' table, scribbling something in her journal. She had taken to creative writing to help soothe her overwhelming anxiety. It actually worked sometimes.

"Are you coming, Veronica?"

The cobalt girl looked up and blinked at Gretchen, who was looking at her with a kind smile.

"Huh?" She tilted her head. "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What were you saying?"

"The Halloween party." Gretchen informed her, "We're all going. You should, too!"

Veronica was quiet for a moment. She hasn't been to a party since the Remington one. And that one ended led to...

A wave of nausea hit Veronica in a rogue wave and she had to swallow hard to keep down her lunch. She could almost smell the Drain-O and the fact that she also lost her virginity to a fucking psycho on that night, too, made her feel even more sick. Just thinking about the way he touched her makes her want to vomit. She was glad she couldn't see his ghost.

"Are you okay, darling?" Damian asked, concern in his eyes. "You're looking a little pale.

"Y-yeah. I'm fine." Veronica cleared her throat as Regina and Janis exchanged looks, "So...Halloween party! I'm flattered that I'm invited. Uh...yeah, I'll come!"

Heather, who was lingering around the table, raised an eyebrow at that, but she stayed quiet.

"Great!" Gretchen smiled.

"What did you get yourself into?" Heather shook her head.

team.mom: Okay, is everyone ready to go? I'm about to head out to pick you guys up.

Gaylien: ready!

Gwetchen: Karen and I are ready!

Big Gay: YES

AfricaByToto: pick me up already binch

troybolton: ready to go

babyblue: Mhm.

team.mom: Great! Pulling out now.

Gwetchen: so, can we all know what we're going as now?

team.mom: Succubus.

Gaylien: Damian and i are going at Chell and Wheatley from Portal 2!

Big Gay: the ending made Janis cry

Gaylien: SHUT UP

AfricaByToto: lion tamer!!

troybolton: i lost a bet so i have to go as Troy Bolton from High School Musical,

Gaylien: HA

Karen: sexy hamster!!!!

Big Gay: oh my god

Gwetchen: vampire

babyblue: plague doctor

troybolton: niiice

troybolton: that fucking terrifies me

Everything was so loud. Too loud. Veronica was shoved around by all the drinking teenagers who were dancing or bustling around the house. She felt bad for whoever had to clean up afterwards. The music stabbed into her ears and made her head pound painfully. She could barley hear herself think.

She wobbled through a narrow hallway to get to the kitchen, desperately trying to find Janis or one of her friends. There were too many people and dizziness made her vision fuzzy. Not because she was drunk, but because parties shot her anxiety through the roof. She felt like she was going to relapse at any moment.

"You aren't looking too good, Veronica." Kurt pointed out.

"I have a mask on?" Veronica clips in slight confusion.

"I can just tell." He states with a nod.

"Ah."

Veronica hobbled over to the sink and got herself a cup of water. She moved her bird mask up slightly to take a sip. Ever since the Remington party, she never touched alcohol again. Maybe if she hadn't drank anything she wouldn't have thrown up on Heather Chandler and then dirtied herself by riding JD like there was no tomorrow.

Maybe her best friend wouldn't have been dead.

She gagged and teetered over the sink, spitting up some of the water. She could still feel the way JD touched her and she wanted to vomit her innards. She fucking hated him. She wished she could forget about him and what he put her through. She did not miss him.

"Veronica?"

Heather's touch on her back was ice cold, which was oddly soothing.

"Being here isn't good for you."

"Are you getting flashbacks, too?" Veronica croaked, glancing over her shoulder at the ghost. Heather pursed her lips and then nodded.

"A little."

"...I'm so sorry."

Heather shook her head and lightly elbowed Veronica in the ribcage.

"Maybe you should leave. We can continue that show on your laptop."

"Merlin?" Veronica titled her head.

"Yeah, that one!"

The girl smiled slightly and straightened up. She took one last sweep through the house before stepping outside into the crisp October air. If she wasn't dressed in all black then it might have felt nice.

"I look like JD." Veronica cringed, stepping out onto the street. She would just have to walk since she couldn't find anyone and she didn't want to ruin the party for them. After all, Regina took them all there. If she left, then everyone else would have to, too.

"That could have been your costume!" Ram says. "It is scary."

"I enjoy that we refer to that bastard as 'it' a lot." Heather said.

"Me too." Veronica laughed.

That's when she heard a branch snap from behind her. Veronica jumped around in time to see someone hide behind a tree. She shuddered.

"I know you're there." She called out.

"Veronica, what are you doing?!" Kurt whispered, even though he couldn't be heard.

"Confronting this person." Veronica whispered back.

There was rustling from a few yards away and some teenage guy dressed as a zombie steps out from behind a tree, clearly drunk out of his mind. He laughs and says a string of slurred words that Veronica couldn't quite understand, but she's sure she knows what he wants from her.

Sex.

She shuddered again and kept walking down the side of the road. She didn't get why this guy was targeting her exactly. Sure, she was alone but he couldn't see what she looked like with her black robes and white bird mask on. He might not even know if she was a girl or a boy. Maybe he didn't care.

There was the sound of freshly fallen leaves crunching under boots from behind her and he was gone. Good.

Veronica looked forward again and continued her trek back to the house. She was skimming through her phone to find a song to play and that's when she was tackled.

The girl was shoved roughly to the asphalt, knocking her elbows against the ground painfully and tearing her sleeves. She screamed and threw her arms out at the drunk teenager who was on top of her. He was groping for her robes, trying to rip them off while also pinning her to the ground.

Veronica twisted and managed to worm away enough to skitter into the woods. There was a heavy blow against her back; she's on the ground. A grimy hand rips the bird mask off of her face and lips press to her own. A slimy tongue slips into her mouth and muffles her screams.

The ghosts are yelling, too. Heather is grabbing at the guy's hair and the boys at trying to pummel him, but they suddenly can't interact with anything. Their hands phase through him, making their attempts at saving Veronica useless.

Veronica's hands are pinned over her head. Dirty nails grate down her stomach and her spine arches in pain. Blood oozes from thin scratches stretching down her abdomen. Ropes of saliva connect her face to the creep's mouth. She gags. He bites down on her ear.

She can feel his hips pounding against her pelvis and he hasn't even taken his pants off yet. She still squirming and screaming, almost crying. His hands slip into her black trousers and she squeals loudly, kicking out her legs.

JD comes back to mind. She remembers how she had given herself to him the night before she murdered her best friend. She remembers how he pressed himself on her another night.

Fight or flight instincts kick in suddenly. Adrenaline pours into her veins. A panic attack in coming on rapidly.

Veronica paws around the forest floor, finds a big rock, and smashes it into the side of the guy's head. He chokes on a scream and falls to the ground. He might have been bleeding.

Veronica is gasping and wheezing. Tears come fast and she's sobbing, curled up on her side in the leaves and dirt. Heather kneels down beside her, gently rubbing her back. The boys seem to be keeping guard. The creep stirs and she jumps up, sprinting all the way back to the house.

People turn to stare as Veronica stumbles into the light. Her hair is a mess, tangled with sticks and leaves. Her robes are ripped to shreds at the chest and the sleeves are torn open. Her knees are skinned and her stomach is still dribbling blood. She wraps an arms around her abdomen and squeezes her eyes shut. She swallows down a mouthful of bile.

"Please help me find Janis," She murmured to the trio of ghosts huddled around her protectively.

Kurt and Ram nod and branch off while Heather stays beside Veronica. They eventually find Janis and her friends and Veronica awkwardly staggers up to them.

"Janis," She rasped, "When can we leave?"

Janis turned to stare at Veronica and her eyebrows raised in surprise.

"Woah, this is the makeup you had under that costume? It looks great!" She smiled.

"Oh...haha...thanks." Veronica's head is spinning. She thinks she's gonna faint.

"You look like you've had way too much to drink." Aaron comments.

"And you night seemed to be fun." Gretchen teased playfully.

"Oh yeah," Veronica mumbled, tilting her head up. She's either going to vomit or pass out. "When are we leaving?"

"Probably soon." Cady said.

Damian set a hand on Veronica's shoulder and she leans entirely into his touch to where she's snuggled right up against him. She shuts her eyes and relaxes, not caring about her odd actions. There are a few small giggles, but she doesn't open her eyes. She's exhausted and feels really sick.

Should she tell them about how she was almost raped? No. She'll cause enough problems once they find out about what she's done.

"My new lock screen." Aaron laughs after taking a photo of Veronica and Damian.

"Someone is making a move on your platonic soulmate, Jan!" Cady gaps in horror.

"Oh no you don't!" Janis laughed and grabbed Veronica and yanked her away. She clearly wasn't trying to be violent or rough or rube, but Veronica thought she was being attacked.

Her fight or flight instincts kicked in and, this time, her body chose flight. She flinched violently and ducked her head, almost bracing her arms over herself.

Janis let go and blinked at her. Slight concern glinted through her eyes.

"You okay?" She asked.

"Uhh...yeah." Veronica cleared her throat.

"I'm going to take Ronnie to the car." Regina said, nudging the girl. "Everyone get ready to go. We'll be leaving in five."

Veronica felt a wave of relief when Regina said that. She followed the taller girl out to the girl, thanking her.

"It's no problem." Regina said, smiling slightly. "This party was pretty lame, anyway. We could have a much better party at my house. Or someone else's."

Veronica nodded, but she just wanted to go home. She needed to sleep this pain and anxiety away.

On the ride home, Veronica fell asleep leaning against Janis. Her hands found her cousin's shirt and she clutched to the fabric like it was her lifeline. The others tittered and giggled while snapping many photos.


	4. Stone Cold

The cafeteria seemed ten times louder than usual. Whispers ran through the air like a crisp autumn breeze, but they were so hard to discern. Everyone was talking all at once and it was starting to make Veronica's head pound.

"Are we still on for movie night?" Gretchen asked, leaning over the table to look at everyone.

"Uhh, yeah!" Janis said. "My place. Basement. Seven-thirty sharp. Pet Cemetery."

"I wanted to watch Twilight." Damian said.

"I second that." Karen pipes up.

"Lion King 2!!" Cady said with a determined voice.

"My house, my pick." Janis smirked, puffing out her chest. Her friends groaned and rolled their eyes in a good-natured way.

"Isn't it technically Ronnie's house, too, though?" Cady pointed out.

"Ohhh, she's right." Damian nodded.

Eyes turned to stare at Veronica, who had her face buried in a journal. She looked up slowly and blinked. A puzzled look crossed her face.

"Huh?"

"What movie do YOU want to watch, Ronnie?" Gretchen asked.

Veronica shrugged her shoulders. Personally, she wanted to watch Lord of The Flies, but she was too shy to say anything. So she would just agree with whatever her cousin chose.

"Anything is fine." She said, clicking her pen. "I don't really care."

Regina pursed her lips and tilted her head at Veronica. Her eyes were skeptical.

"The Mother Lioness might be into you, Veronica." Heather spoke up. "You need to act more natural. Just say a movie."

"The Blind Side!" Ram suggested.

"San Andreas." Kurt tried.

"Those are too loud, you know I can't handle that."

"She's right." Heather nodded. "Remember when we watched Skyscraper? She barely got halfway through the movie."

"There were explosions, and you know how I am around-"

Veronica bit her tongue until she tasted blood when she realized that she was talking to absolutely no one, at least in everyone else's eyes. Her friends were staring at her oddly. They looked...concerned. She cleared her throat loudly, but didn't attempt to explain. She just looked down at her journal. Luckily she was saved by nearby whispering.

"...Are you serious?"

"...Yeah, dude! They found a body in the woods!"

"...Holy shit. Who's body was it?"

Regina twisted around in her chair to look at the to seniors chatting behind her. She curiously regards them on what they're talking about."

"You know Kyle Markson's Halloween party?" The first one asks and the table nods. "Well, Tyler Mylark's dead body showed up in the woods down the road!"

Veronica felt her heart drop.

"How'd he die?" Aaron tilted his head.

"There was a gash in the side of his head, so he was probably hit by something." The second informed. "Someone must have killed him by bashing his skull in."

Veronica didn't need to hear anymore to know the story. It was her. She killed him. She killed him when she hit him with that rock. She drove that pointed stone right into his temples and stole his life.

She killed another person.

Veronica's insides lurched. She slapped a hand over her mouth as nausea set in. Her stomach bubbled warningly.

"Vera?" Janis looked at her. "You okay?"

Veronica shook her head wildly. She jumped up and ran to the nearest trashcan, ejecting everything she had just eaten violently. The cafeteria seemed to quiet down just to hear her puke. Eyes burned into her back. Some people were laughing. Others groaned and cringed. Nobody made a move to help her.

"Oh my god," She muttered hoarsely. "I killed another person..."

Veronica jolted awake, sitting up straight in her bed. She was breathing heavily, cold sweat beading her forehead. Her pajamas were plastered to her clammy skin.

Her room was dark, aside from the dim nightlight plugged into an outlet. Distorted shadows were cast up the wall. Veronica shuddered and put her head in her hands.

"I really killed him, didn't I?"

She peeked out slightly and the ghosts nodded.

"Calm down, okay," Heather said from where she was sitting. "You had gloves on. They can't track your fingerprints even if they found the rock."

"That's doesn't make this any better!" Veronica snapped. "I killed someone. Again! For the fourth time!"

She felt sick all over again and shut her mouth to keep from vomiting. She slumped back down onto her bed, pulling the blankets close.

"But at least you might not be going to lady prison." Kurt said.

"You're not helping..."

Ram padded over to the door and peeked out into the hallway. He could head Janis and her friends laughing from downstairs.

"Maybe you should join them." He suggested. "To take your mind off of things."

Veronica stirred and peered out from under the covers at him, then buried her face back into her pillow.

"Really?" Ram groaned. "It's so boring in here!"

"You can go," Veronica said. "I'm staying right here."

Heather sighed and shook her head.

"If you haven't noticed, Veronica, we can't exactly leave your side. We're bound to our killer. We are supposed to be haunting you, after all." She said. "Trust me, if we weren't we wouldn't be following around your sorry ass everywhere."

Veronica's heart twists at that, but she doesn't say anything. The ghosts weren't her friends. Not after what she did to them.

"I can get behind that." She sighed, rolling over onto her back to stare at the ceiling. "Are my sleeping pills in here?"

Kurt nodded and pointed to a small capsule on the dresser. Veronica gives him a thin smile and gets up to grab the pills. Her hands are shaking, and she realizes just how hard child-proof caps are to open. There's only two pills left inside.

Out by the flags is a small memorial for Tyler Mylark. There are flowers and photos of the boy. He's smiling and so, so happy. People are crying and full on sobbing. One girl is on her knees, clutching a picture frame to her chest. That's his little sister.

Veronica was passing the flag pole on her way to third period and froze. Her mouth hung open slightly. Guilt ripped open her heart when she saw how upset people were. She took Tyler Mylark from them. It's all her fault.

"Terrible, isn't it?"

Veronica must have jumped five inches off of the pavement when Damian put his hand on her shoulder. He was staring at the memorial with a strange look in his eyes.

"Did you know him?" Veronica asked.

He shook his head, laughing slightly.

"No way." He said. "But it's still sad."

A silence fell between the two before Damian squeezed the girl's shoulder.

"We better get going before we're late."

Veronica followed Damian to the Physics room, since they had the class together. Cady was already at the lab table, smiling.

"It's about time!" She said as the bell rang.

"Sorry, we got sidetracked." Damian said, sitting down beside her.

"Staring at a boy who was pretty stoned." Ram said.

Veronica actually snorted at the pun, but stopped laughing when a girl with tear streaks down her face dragged herself into the room. The teacher hugs her, and Veronica wants to kill herself for what she did.

Gaylien: who's your guys' favorite Mario Kart character??

AfricaByToto: IT'S THREE IN THE MORNING

troybolton: Luigi

Gaylien: Troy gets how dire this question is

troybolton: stop calling me that

cornHub: princess peach

Gwetchen: Rosalina

Big Gay: Yoshi

Gaylien: mine is Bowser Jr

AfricaByToto: Yoshi too

team.mom: I fucking hate all of you.

team.mom: ...But probably Daisy.

Gaylien: woah mom answered my question!!!!

team.mom: I'm not your fucking mother. Why would I put myself through that?

Gaylien: :O

troybolton: cold blooded

babyblue: Shy Guy.

Big Gay: DARLING WHY ARE YOU AWAKE

Gaylien: YEAH WHAT THE HELL RONNIE

team.mom: You should really be asleep, Veronica.

Gwetchen: this chat whenever one of us are awake at some ungodly hour of the night- fine don't sleep for nine days straight and diethis chat when Ronnie is awake- ALSKAKHDANKANDBSJAJDNA SLEEP!!!!!!!

AfricaByToto: so true tho

Gaylien: Ronnie since you're awake let's sneak out !!

babyblue: I suppose I don't have a choice since I hear you changing clothes and stomping down the hallway.

Gaylien sent a photo- sneakingout.jpg

cornHub: she's wearing hedgehog slippers !!!!

AfricaByToto: Ronnie looks so exhausted

babyblue: I am.

Gaylien: just jumped out the window like a true pro bitches

Gaylien: it's Ronnie's turn!!

Gaylien sent a photo- letsgoronnie!!!.jpg

Gwetchen: she looks so concerned

team.mom: Please be careful you two.

AfricaByToto: Soft Regina is alive and her Mother Instincts are kicking

team.mom: Shut the hell up.

Gaylien: i love our mom

Janis and Veronica snuck off to a twenty-four hour 7/11 to get snacks. Stepping inside of the gas station made memories and horrible nostalgia come rushing back to Veronica, but she didn't say anything and just shoved all the dark thoughts to the back of her head.

She greets the worker at the counter to be polite and shuffled over to the slushy machine. She just stared at it for a long time before finally grabbing a cup. While she's filling it up, she looks up to see JD's face pressed against the window, staring in at her.

Veronica yelps and jumps backwards, nearly flinging her Cherry slushy at him. Her heart skips a few beats when his lips curve into a wide smile.

"Are you okay, ma'am?"

The worker at the front counter is looking at her strangely, but had curiosity in his eyes. This had to be the most interesting thing that has happened all night.

Veronica opened her mouth to reply and noticed that JD is gone. If she squints, though, she swears she can see handprints smudged on the glass. Her head spins.

"Yeah, I'm fine," She finally answers, "I just thought I saw a spider, that's all. The coast is clear, though!"

The worker nodded and looked back down at his laptop.

Veronica breathed out shakily. She reached for a lid for her slushy and looked at the trio of ghosts who followed her in. The boys are poking around the aisles while Heather is staring intently at the spot JD had been in.

"Did you see him, too?" Veronica asked softly.

Heather pulls her gaze away to look at the girl. She frowns.

"Unfortunately." She's gritting her teeth. She hates that filth as much as Veronica does. Maybe even more.

"That's the first time I've seen him since the incident..." Veronica admitted, "I thought he wasn't real."

"Maybe your eyes are just playing tricks on you." Ram says, peeking out from an aisle.

"Maybe." Heather nodded. "I only saw him for a split second, so I might have been mistaken, too."

"I hope so." Veronica mumbled.

She found Janis and offered to pay, but her cousin declined, so she went to the tables by the front door to wait. Her eyelids were getting heavy and she could barley remember how she even got home as drowsiness weighed down on her.

Though, she could have sworn she remembered JD's voice whispering something in her ear.

Gaylien: please hand over the Best Cousin Ever award because i so deserve it

troybolton: ????

Gwetchen: please explain

Gaylien: carrying Ronnie home

Gaylien sent a photo- shesleep.jpg

Big Gay: AAAAAAAAAAA

AfricaByToto: AAAAAAAAAAAAAA

team.mom: Please don't wake her up this time.

Gwetchen: AAAAAAAAAAA

troybolton: AAA

cornHub: A BABY


	5. Lord of the Flies

Veronica didn't enjoy violence after the incidents in Sherwood, but if someone were to mess with her cousin or friends, she'll forget all about that discomfort and go apeshit on that person. That's exactly what happened on Wednesday when some guy named Shane Oman (apparently he was notorious for something at Northshore) decided to mess with Janis.

He started by calling her names when she was trying to walk back to her table with her lunch, and then he kicked her in the shin and smacked her lunch tray out of her hand when she didn't give a reaction. By that point, Veronica had enough.

"Come on, Dyke." Shane taunted, "Answer me. We all know you have a mouth since you use it so much to eat puss-"

He was cut off when he was shoved backwards. A few "ohhhs" went through the lunchroom and he glared down at the cobalt girl.

"What's your damage, Shane?" Veronica snapped, "She wasn't bothering you. Leave her alone."

Shane towered over her, easily standing six feet tall. His hate-filled stare drilled holes into Veronica, but she stood her ground.

"You think you're so tough, huh?" Shane growled.

Veronica merely shrugged her shoulders, which seemed to be an insult to Shane because he shoved her hard. Her lightweight body (thanks to how little she's been eating) toppled to the ground. She tried to jump back up, but a sneaker drove into her stomach.

Shane began repeatedly kicking her while she's down (literally) while spatting out insults. His asshat friends held back Janis and the others at her table. People are yelling, even cheering, and recording videos of the fight. The teachers are either lost in the crowd or don't care enough to do anything.

"That's what you get you stupid bitch." Shane hissed, finally stopping his onslaught of kicks. He smoothed his shirt and turned back to Janis to continue his torment.

Veronica is lying face-down on the floor, twitching and shaking. Her stomach is throbbing. Her lip is busted, oozing blood down her chin.

"You're just going to let him win? Get up. You know you can take him down."

That horribly familiar voice rang out in Veronica's ears.

"You know you have it in you."

She shuddered.

"Do it. Do it! Kill him! Spill his blood! Gouge his chest! Do him in!"

She coughed and tried to push herself up.

"Kill him! Break his bones! Spill his blood!"

JD's voice raises louder and louder.

"Kill him! Rip him apart! Spill his blood! Tear his skin!"

A tone of insanity. He's screaming like a mad man, chanting and singing lines of morbid manslaughter. It's not right. His voice is distorted. His influence is too much.

"Kill him! Kill him! Kill him!!"

Veronica flung herself at Shane, colliding with his back and sending him toppling sideways. Her blood is hot in her veins. She feels like a wild animal. This must have been the rush JD felt.

"You stupid fuck." Shane hissed, only to have his threat be hollow when Veronica punches him square in the nose. The sickening crunch and cracking sounds are almost as loud as his howls of pain.

"You bitch! You little bitch!" He screamed.

Veronica felt like she could finally ease up, but Shane didn't seem to be done. Apparently a broken nose only fuels his urge to attack.

His bloodied hands go for her throat and she panics, slashing her nails across his face. His grip hooks in her hair and her forehead smashes with his knee. Stars burst around Veronica and she topples over onto a table before rolling onto the ground. Above her, Shane is pawing at his eyes and cheeks, yowling like a dying animal.

Veronica surely thinks she's about to be killed when Janis comes barreling into Shane. She leaps onto him like an angry leopard and began to pummel him, even biting if she could get any skin between her teeth. Veronica is in awe at her strength that she almost doesn't hear Principal Duvall's voice booming through the cafeteria.

"WHAT IS GOING ON IN HERE?!" He yelled.

Damian pulls Janis off of Shane quickly, holding her back when she clearly wants to lunge again. He's glaring daggers at the boy, though, probably wishing he got a chance to beat him up as well.

"My office," Principal Duvall said sternly. "Now."

Janis didn't seem to show any sign of involving her cousin, but Veronica refused for her to take the blame.

"Wait...sir..." Veronica gurgled. She pushes herself up and has to use a table for support. She can barely walk straight. "It wasn't Janis...it was me... I attacked him.."

Regina and Cady both supported her when she almost collapsed again. She hummed in thanks, her head lolling onto Regina's shoulder as consciousness started to slip again. Principal Duvall gave her a concerned look.

"All of you to my office."

After multiple explanations, Shane was suspended and Veronica and Janis were given a day of detention. Principal Duvall seemed to take pity on the girls since he knew about Veronica's PTSD and assumed it made her lash out so violently. She didn't know how to take that, but was thankful they weren't punished that harshly.

The detention room was quiet. Too quiet. Veronica would have covered her ears if Janis wasn't in there with her. Instead, she just lay her head down on the desk and held an ice pack to her throbbing stomach, which was probably severely bruised now. She forced open her eyes when she heard the snap of a camera and then her phone go off.

Gaylien sent a photo- indetentionwithronnie.jpg

Gwetchen: nice selfie but is Ronnie okay???

troybolton: she looks dead

babyblue: I'm okay. Just achy.

team.mom: Are you sure?

babyblue: I'm sure.

Big Gay: y'all Ronnie is so hardcore

cornHub: rt

Gwetchen: rt

AfricaByToto: rt

troybolton: rt

Gaylien: there's no one in the detention room and i got Ronnie to spin on the spinny chair

Gaylien sent a video- shespin.mov

Big Gay: SHE!!!!!

troybolton: awww

Gwetchen: is no one gonna point out how she's gripping the arms of the chair with a death grip because that is a big same

team.mom: Well, Janis is spinning her at full speed.

team.mom: And you both shouldn't be up after what happened. You're hurt.

Gaylien: we're fine!

Gaylien: shit

Gwetchen: and there it is

Gaylien sent a video- shootingstar.mov

troybolton: your cousin smashes into a table while spinning at Maximum Velocity in a spinny chair and your first reaction is to take a video

Gaylien: yeah pretty much

AfricaByToto: JANIS

team.mom: JANIS IS SHE OKAY?!

babyblue: I'm fine.

Gwetchen: Mom Regina is so Alive today

Gwetchen: also when Ronnie replies with periods i always think she's so tired of everything

babyblue: I am.

babyblue: I'm going to lie on the floor until we can leave.

That's just what Veronica did. She closed her eyes and felt a pulse beat against her brain as she's pretty sure she drifted off.

She awoke with a start, momentarily forgetting where she was and how she go there. The first thing that registered was the sharp pain in her stomach and then fact that she was still in the detention room. Janis was nowhere to be seen. The thought of her cousin leaving her in there suddenly came to mind.

"Aww, how sad."

Every muscle in Veronica's body tensed up.

"She left you. Like usual. Nobody wants to be around you."

JD's voice is distorted, but she can hear every word loud and clear. He's nowhere to be seen, but it's like he's right behind her, whispering into her ear.

"That's not true." Veronica growled, but her tone was shaky.

"Oh really? Then why did she just leave you on the floor? You're injured, too. She would have stayed."

"I'm probably still asleep."

"You can't feel pain in dreams, my darling."

Veronica cringes at the stabs to her stomach. She can't feel pain in dreams, but she can in nightmares, apparently. That's what this is. It's just a nightmare. A strange one, but still a nightmare.

"Everything is a nightmare to you." JD says when it's brought against him. "Your world is a nightmare. Your own personal living hell you destroyed all by yourself."

"You destroyed it!" Veronica lashed out, her teeth gritted in rage.

JD laughs. It's so maniacal and rebounds in her skull, echoing in her ears. She clutches at her head when her temples throb.

"Perhaps. Clever girl. My clever girl."

"I don't belong to you." Veronica spat, peering up at nothing in particular.

There's silence for a moment. She thinks she hears JD click his tongue. His laughter shivers again.

"You are a silly little girl," He said. "Just an ignorant, silly little girl."

Veronica says nothing. She keeps her head bowed. JD takes it as a sign of obedience.

"Don't you agree?" He croons. "Aren't you just a silly little girl?"

No words are said from Veronica.

"Well then," JD says, "Better not just sit there. They'll think you're weak. You don't want Janis to think you're weak, do you? You like Janis a lot, don't you?"

Veronica stirs. She grasps the edge of a desk and hauls herself up to her feet. Her eyes are open but she's can't see straight. Her body does not feel like her own. JD continues to taunt her.

"Go on, my darling. Find your 'friends'. If they hadn't drove off without you yet, that is."

Veronica staggers for the door. She pounds her palm against her temple and seems to finally get a grip. The switch isn't flipped for JD, though.

"It's pointless, really. I'm giving you false encouragement. This isn't your home. Your home is in the dirt. In a grave. Dead. Dead. Dead. Surrounded by fellow corpses. Eaten up by worms and maggots. You should be dead!"

Veronica is too caught up in taming the voice inside her head that she doesn't even realize she bumped into Janis. Her cousin steps back and blinks a few times.

"Vera? I was just coming to get you."

"Where were you?" Veronica asked, straightening out her voice.

"The bathroom." Janis answered. "Detention ended twenty minutes ago. I wanted to let you rest, though."

"On the floor." Veronica deadpans. Janis snorts lightly.

"It was a little funny looking." She pats Veronica's shoulder and then jogs back to the detention room to collect their bags.

"She was trying to leave you." JD leers. "She wants nothing to do with you. She thinks you're weak and you can't change her mind."

"Get out of my head." Veronica hissed between her teeth.

JD just laughed.

Veronica walked out to the parking lot with Janis. All of their friends were waiting in Regina's car. Janis got in. Veronica hesitated.

"Aren't you coming?" Cady asked from the shotgun seat.

Veronica blinks at her.

"I was going to go to the pharmacy." She said. "I don't want to bother you with that."

"Get in." Regina says, and Veronica is too scared to go against her, so she listens. She climbs in next to Aaron and Karen.

They did stop at the pharmacy and all got out, much to Veronica's dismay. She shuffled to the medicine aisle and ended up grabbing three bottles of pills: sleeping tablets, painkillers, and antidepressants. She stared at the last one for a long time.

"Antidepressants won't help you, darling." JD quipped.

"I didn't ask you."

When none of her friends were around, Veronica slinked over to the counters and paid. The worker stared at her with this concerned look, but didn't say anything about what she was buying. Veronica threw in a pack of gum to try and make things less awkward.

Home was her next destination, but instead she was taken out to a restaurant. Not the most ideal place to go in her position, but she didn't protest.

This early dinner felt like it dragged on forever. The whole time she was fidgeting in her seat, trying to calm herself down. JD was making her way too nervous, and she didn't even know if he was real. He could have just been a figment of her imagination. She wanted the ghosts back. Wherever they are.

She licked her busted lip and it started to burn again. She tasted blood on her tongue. Her stomach twisted for the ninth time that day.

"You really didn't have to bring me." She said when the table quieted down.

"It's the least I could do after today." Regina says. "You did save Janis' ass after all."

Her eyes look too much like Heather Chandler's. It freaks Veronica out.

"Hey!" Janis barked defensively.

"You gotta admit that Veronica whooped Shane's ass, though." Aaron said.

"What are you talking about?" Veronica blinked. "I got beaten into a pulp!" She laughed at her own pain.

"You broke his nose!" Cady piped up. "You showed him who's boss, Ronnie!"

Veronica let herself smile. She let herself enjoy dinner and put JD on mute. She let herself believe that these people cared about her. She let herself have a happy moment even though she know it probably wouldn't last.

And it didn't.

Veronica felt uncomfortably hot on the ride back home. She kept shifting and squirming in her seat, desperately trying to get comfortable. Her clothes were plastered to her damp skin, which only furthered her discomfort.

"What if you just killed your friends?"

JD's voice came back. It was so loud.

"There's a thought. A fun thought. I would do it. Murder helps relieve stress."

Veronica tuned him out. She rested her head against the cool window and curled up against the door. She shut her eyes and tried to focus on the music from the radio. It almost worked, too.

"Ohhh, it's our song!"

Teenage Suicide, Don't Do It began to play. That was the breaking point for Veronica.

"Pull over!" She cried, already starting to unbuckle her seatbelt.

Regina reacted quickly and swerved to the side of the road. The car hadn't even stopped completely before Veronica threw open the door and started throwing up.

She stumbled out into the frigid evening air completely, doubled over with her hands on her knees. She had done everyone else a favor by kicking the door shut. Nobody liked other people vomiting.

There was a freezing cold touch on the small of her back.

"It's about time... Where you guys, the ghost strip club?"

"No time for jokes, Sawyer." Heather snapped. "You're not doing too good."

"Yeah, I can tell." Veronica said before coughing up more of her dinner. She would have to pay Regina back for wasting money on that spaghetti she had ordered.

One of the doors to the car opened and closed and Janis was suddenly at Veronica's side, grabbing a handful of her hair.

"Shit, Vera," She muttered, rubbing Veronica's back. "You should have told me you felt this crappy. Regina would have took you home immediately. I would have made her."

Veronica laughed weakly.

"I can tell. Her group chat name is 'team.mom' after all."

"Aww, they care." Ram cooed. Unlike JD, Veronica knew he wasn't taunting or teasing her.

Eventually, she could finally get back into the car. Janis switched spots with Aaron just so she could be next to Veronica.

"She really cares." Kurt nods.

Veronica agreed in her head. She couldn't hear JD anymore. Her stomach settled slightly without him being around. She let her head rest on Janis' shoulder. Her eyes shut.

The next thing she clearly remembered was waving goodbye to Regina and the others while standing in Janis' driveway. She blinked her eyes a few time before going inside.

"Feeling any better?" Janis asked, tossing her a water bottle so she could wash her mouth out.

"A little." Veronica answered, taking a small sip. "I need to pay Regina back, though. She paid for no reason after I threw everything up."

Janis laughed and shook her head.

"You can try. She'll probably turn your attempts down." She nudged Veronica with her shoulder, "Wanna watch a movie?"

Veronica smiled.

"I'd love to."

PRIVATE MESSAGE BETWEEN team.mom AND babyblue

team.mom: Just wanted to say that I hope you're feeling better!

team.mom: Oh, and you left your bag in my car. I can give it back tomorrow at school.

babyblue: Thank you, Regina! It's really sweet of you to check up on me like this.

babyblue: I'm feeling better, don't worry. I probably just got sick because of what Shane did. He did kick me multiple times in the stomach. I probably wasn't ready to handle food just yet.

babyblue: And, got it. Thank you again!

team.mom: Hey, Veronica?

babyblue: Yeah?

team.mom: Why'd you buy antidepressants?

babyblue is typing...

babyblue is typing...

babyblue is typing...

babyblue has left the chat


	6. dont Bite the Hand that feeds you

JD was Veronica's pig head on a stick. She could almost hear the flies buzzing around the decaying decapitation as it stares are her with eyeless black sockets and a mouth full of blood and maggots. It would laugh. She would faint.

Veronica awoke in a cold sweat the next morning, shivering. She swung her legs over the side of the bed and padded to the bathroom, being careful to not disturb the ghosts, who were huddled up in a heap in the corner. Apparently spirits liked their beauty sleep, too, even in the afterlife.

It was six-thirty in the morning, so Veronica though that would be a good time to take a shower. She cranked the nozzle and peeled off her damp pajamas. Her skin was so clammy.

A scalding hot rain pounded over her bare skin. She scrubbed and scrubbed until her flesh was raw and glowed neon pink, but she still couldn't seem to get herself completely clean. She felt itchy and uncomfortable, like she wasn't in the right body. Almost humorously, she turned in circles in the shower, clearly disoriented.

Then, she could have sworn she felt something rub her hips. She yelped out loud, knocking everything over in the small shower space before slipping and falling. There, she lay sprawled out, naked under a hot spray of water, wishing for one day she could live normally.

Gaylien: the loudest things in the world include:-Opening a chip bag in a quiet class-The fire alarms at school-Moms yelling-Dropping a spoon in the middle of the night-Veronica knocking over literally every soap bottle in the shower at six in the morning

Big Gay: it seems to run in the family then because u do it all the time

Gaylien: shut up this isn't about my flaws

troybolton: for once

Gwetchen: OOOH

Gaylien: im killing Troy when i see him at school

troybolton: id like to see you try

Gaylien: bitch

Gaylien: OADHAKDHBSHDHS

Gaylien: RONNIE DID YOU JUST FUCKING SLIP IN THE SHOWER

AfricaByToto: ?????

AfricaByToto: it's not even seven yet can't you guys wait to cause a scene

AfricaByToto: WAIT RONNIE????

Gaylien: should i go and check on her???

troybolton: is she your first cousin?

Gaylien: second

troybolton: then it's probably fine because you're not completely blood related

Gwetchen: What the fuck Troy

cornHub: yeah so it's okay if you see her boobies!

troybolton: that's not what I

Gwetchen: KAREN NO

babyblue: I would prefer if she didn't see me naked.

Gaylien: thank god you're not dead

Gaylien: mom would have killed me

babyblue: I wish I was.

babyblue: I just slipped. I'm fine.

PRIVATE CHAT BETWEEN team.mom AND Gaylien WAS CREATED

team.mom: I'm worried about Veronica.

Gaylien: yeah, she's a pretty weird kid, huh?

team.mom: More than weird, Janis. She bought sleeping pills and antidepressants. Usually I wouldn't care, a lot of people take them, but something doesn't seem right with her.

Gaylien: okay, damn, you cracked me. i'll tell you and everyone else at school, but don't let Veronica know. she'll kill me

team.mom: Tell us what?

Gaylien: you'll see.

Veronica stared at herself in the mirror, dripping wet and shivering. Her eyes were dull, like two pieces of scratched amber shoved into her face. There's faded scars around her breasts. She vividly remembers the way JD tore into her with teeth and claws, biting and scratching and licking. Pain was not a turn-on for her. He didn't seem to understand that.

JD had become her king, whether she liked it or not. At Westerburg, everyone scratched up a high rise to get footing for something big. Everyone scratched for an advantage, power. JD has scratched his way all the way to the top, climbing higher than the Heathers. Maybe people didn't see him on the peak, but he has always been the top dog and kept one foot on the boulders that threatened to crash down on everyone else.

His influence had helped Veronica gain dizzying amounts of power, but he dragged her through a gutter to do it. Her life is a rollercoaster that doesn't seem to stop escalating. JD has made her into what she is today.

A shell.

He had been ruthless. He easily would have slit Heather Duke's wrists and drained her blood into a barrel or cut off Heather McNamara's head and put it in a gift box for her parents. And Veronica would have let him. Because she was a coward. She was too scared to go against him and his murderous ways. She thought it was a blessing that she survived their final encounter.

Veronica shuddered violently. JD had known her every move. He watched her from a throne made of bones, never letting anything slip from his gaze. He knew her address, handwriting, and where she was every second of every day. He was an obsessive fuck that always seemed to be one step behind his little puppet.

He's gone now, but his vice grip on Veronica has not let go.

Veronica slips on her clothing and steps out of the bathroom, her hair still a wet mop. She didn't care enough to dry it. She walks downstairs and sees the Sarkisian's black cat, Fen, laying on the couch. His fur bristles and he looks just behind Veronica.

He sees them, too, then. They weren't hallucinations.

"You aren't looking too good, 'Ronica." Ram said, perching on the side of the dinner table.

"I never am." Veronica said bluntly, dragging her feet as she walks into the kitchen. "I feel like I've been beaten with a baseball bat."

She feels ten times worse than usual. Her nose is stuffed up, her head hurts, and every muscle in her body is aching. She doesn't know how she'll redeem herself from the day before when she's all pale, shaking, and has a nose like Rudolf.

"I think I'm dying." She groaned, then her head shot up. "Actually. I wouldn't mind that."

Heather rolled her eyes and lightly elbowed Veronica.

"You're not dying." She stated.

Veronica hummed in response. She heard Janis walking down the stairs and straightened up, rubbing her nose with her sleeve.

"Morning, Vera!" Janis chirped while laughing about something on the group chat.

Veronica looked down at her phone and saw that she had no notifications. Nobody said anything after her message. They all must be on a chat she wasn't on. They made her heart clench with jealousy for some reason.

But why? They weren't her real friends. They were forced to like her.

"Good morning." Veronica finally returned the comment, filling a cup with water to soothe her burning throat. She then walked over to the table to grab her backpack for school, knowing Janis was probably staring at her.

Not many words are exchanged after that. Damian comes over to pick them up, but Veronica acts like she's missing something so she doesn't have to ride with them. When the aching in her muscles flares up, she wishes she had taken their offer. Her choice not to go was good for Janis, though, as she told her friends about her condition.

Janis didn't know the full story of how Veronica was diagnosed with PTSD or what caused the trauma, but the least she could do was give her friends a heads up.

"Again, don't let her know I told you." Janis finished, wringing her fingers through her shirt. "She doesn't like letting people know. In fact, I don't even think she knows I know."

"The poor thing," Damian murmured sympathetically.

"That's...concerning." Aaron put in, blinking a few times. He wasn't the only one who was expecting to start out their morning with this news.

Cady nodded in agreement.

"Does she take medicine?" She asked.

"I'm not sure." Janis shrugged. "No prescription that I'm aware of."

"You really have to keep an eye on her more often, Janis." Regina said.

"I do!"

It wasn't Janis' fault Veronica was so hard to talk to. The girl was reserved and hid inside of a shell. She wasn't good at interacting with people. Not anymore.

Despite no one talking about the news after the first bell rang, Veronica knew something was up. The lunch table was oddly quiet and she was sure they were all texting on the group chat she wasn't apart of.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She said while getting up and walking to the restroom.

There, she splashed her face with cold water and dig through her pocket to pull out some medicine.

"Did I ever make things that awkward at Westerburg?" She asked, popping a cough drop into her mouth.

Heather looked away from the mirror she was pruning herself in and raised an eyebrow. She chuckled lightly.

"You were just awkward in general with us."

Veronica tilted her head and Heather continued:

"You were a follower, Veronica. You were very meek and scared to do anything, but at the same time, nervous to go against what I said."

"An omega." Ram put in.

Heather looked at him and then nodded.

"That describes you well, actually." She said.

An omega? Veronica agreed. She was an omega in a pack of top dogs. Heather was the alpha female and Kurt and Ram were her betas. Veronica was just a scraggly little pup, despite leading the three more dominant wolves.

A wolf. That's what she felt like.

"Ah." She said, jostling the cough drop in her mouth.

"But no," Heather spoke up again, "Our table never got like that."

Veronica's shoulder slumped.

"Damnit."

She twitched when the bathroom door opened and a pristine lioness with finely groomed fur walked in, one paw after another.

"Oh, uh, hey Regina." She said awkwardly.

Regina walked over to the sink beside Veronica and started to fix her hair, even though it was already perfect. Veronica sensed a conversation coming on.

"Are you doing okay?"

There it was.

"Yeah?" Veronica blinked at her. "Everything is fine."

Regina was quiet for a moment before sighing. She turned to look at Veronica, who had a nervous expression.

"Veronica, I wanted to talk with you about that, actually." She said. "You can open up, you know. I'm your friend- everyone at the table is your friend. You can talk to us."

Veronica's muscled tensed up. She swallowed hard, wringing her fingers in her shirt. She glanced at the ghosts for help. They all looked helpless.

"I know." She said softly. "There's nothing I need to talk about."

"We both know that's not true, Veronica." Regina says, rolling her eyes. "Something is wrong."

"Nothing is wrong." Veronica said through gritted teeth. It hurts to swallow. She fights the urge to wince every time she moves.

"Veronica-"

Veronica backs away from Regina when she reaches out, flinching when a hand is extended to her. Fear flashes in her eyes. Her fingers twitch. She hated the feeling like she had to claw at the taller girl's eyes to get away.

"I'm fine." Veronica said.

Regina's eyebrows furrowed at the way she jumped backwards. Concern glinted in her eyes. She took a slow step forward to make sure she didn't startle the girl.

"Veronica, listen-"

"I'm fine! I'm fine, Regina! Seriously, I'm okay!" Veronica shouted and she was sent reeling when her head spun wildly. She stumbled backwards and Regina lunged to catch her before she could hit the floor.

Regina grasped her arms around Veronica's waist to keep her upright. She tried to keep her hands where the girl could see them, but she was more focused on other things, like making sure Veronica doesn't smash into the ground. Or that she should not be this light.

Veronica was leaning heavily against her, eyes full and glazed over. She almost looked blind. Her skin is sticky and hot, too hot. She blinked and inhaled sharply, squirming in Regina's arms.

"Easy," Regina murmured, "Easy. I got you."

"You can let go now." Veronica said. "I'm fine."

Those damn words... They had been repeated so many times they almost seemed to be stuck on Veronica's tongue. She didn't know how many people actually believed her when she spoke them. This might be the first time someone actually caught her in the hollow lie.

"You're really not." Regina said. "Veronica, I know we haven't known each other for a long time, but you can talk to me."

"No, you wouldn't understand." Veronica says, wriggling away from Regina and pushing herself up into her feet. She wobbled for a moment before grabbing her backpack hanging up on a hook. "Thanks for trying to help, though. But there's no need. I'm fine."

Regina silently watched her go, knowing how Janis felt when she said Veronica was hard to talk to.

The rest of the school day never seemed to end. Veronica felt worse as time passed, but she couldn't be happier when the final bell rang. She hurried out of the building and started walking home. She could have hitched a ride with one of Janis' friends, but she decided not to. She wanted to be alone.

Janis was already home when she finally stepped inside the warm house. She gave her cousin a small smile and made a beeline for the staircase to go straight to her room.

"Hey, Veronica-"

She froze.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

Veronica walked over to Veronica and crossed her arms over her chest, raising an eyebrows. She tilted her head slightly.

"What's up?"

"Not to be blunt or anything, but my mom said you have PTSD. I wanted to know why."

Veronica's mouth pulled back in a grimace. That's not what she had been wanting to hear.

"Umm..." She cleared her throat, "I-I mean- Uh-"

Her hands start to tremble. Her skin is itchy and she's desperate to scratch it.

"I'm fine- Wait-" She shook her head and took a deep breath. "Your mom...isn't wrong. I do have PTSD."

"Nice."

Veronica blinked at that and Janis rubbed the back of her neck.

"But why though? That's what they never told me."

"And they were right to." Veronica said, shifting her backpack to a different shoulder.

"You're not gonna tell me?"

"Uhh no." Veronica deadpans. She swiveled around to got back to the staircase. "Where are you and the others going today?"

"Veronica!" Janis grabbed her cousin by the wrist. "Why can't I know? We're family! Family should know why family has a crippling trauma disorder."

"Because it's serious." Veronica said. "Besides, you've never told me anything this serious before."

"I'm a lesbian."

"Doesn't count. Literally everyone knows."

"Damnit."

Veronica tried to pull away but Janis didn't let go.

"Come on, Ronnie! Tell me! The curiosity is killing me!"

"Then I guess you'll just die then," Veronica shrugged, "It really isn't your business, anyway."

She turned, then froze. Her muscles suddenly tensed up. She sniffed.

"Wait-"

She looked Janis in the eye.

"Did you tell everyone else?"

Janis finally let go.

"Well, yeah. They're your friends. They deserve to know." She said. "But your family really deserves to know why."

"Janis!" Veronica shouted, "How could you do that?!"

Janis blinked a few times.

"Why does it matter?"

"Of course you would respond so stupidly."

The wolf inside of Veronica's heart is awake. She can feel her blood boiling.

"You don't understand what it's like when people find out about a mental disorder. They either treat you like a porcelain doll or they start to avoid you like you're a psychopath. That is the exact reason why I didn't tell you in the first place, because I knew you would have told everyone!"

"It's not that big of a deal, Ronnie." Janis said cooly, "A lot of people have PTSD! You're no different."

"Janis, you don't understand! I didn't want them knowing! You had no right blabbering my secrets to people I barley know."

"Okay, maybe so, but you're missing my main point..." Janis says, "Why do you have PTSD?"

"Ugh!!"

Veronica ran her fingers through her hair, trying to keep herself calm. She wanted to lash out and scream, but her throat already hurt enough. She had to figure out a way to get out of this conversation.

"I can't tell you."

It came out as a whisper, which made Veronica want to kick herself. She hadn't meant to sound so weak.

"Why?"

Janis reached out and gently touched her cousin's arm.

"You can talk to me."

"No, I can't. I can't even talk to a therapist. I can't tell anyone. Nobody can know, Janis."

Janis had a strange, but concerned look in her eyes. She had her head tilted slightly, clearly not catching on.

"Veronica, you're shaking..."

"Shit." Veronica muttered, exhaling a quivering breath. "Shit! Forget what I said, okay? And don't tell those guys anything else!"

"Ronnie, I don't understand. Why is it so hard to let people in? I get it. People are mean, but there are a few good ones. Like me and Damian and Troy Bolton!"

Veronica hugged herself tightly.

"You wouldn't want to be around me anymore if you knew." She murmured, "I'm sorry. You can't know. Not now. Not ever. I-I just can't lose anyone else because of my stupid mistakes."

"What are you talking about?" Janis asked. "Veronica, whatever happened at Westerburg, or whatever your old school's name was, can't follow you here."

"Yes it can!" Veronica cried, panic in her voice. She's glancing around everywhere again. "It has. I can't run from it, Janis. It follows me everywhere. It's crushing me and destroying me and tearing me apart from the inside out and-and you think I should share that with you? No way. I can't. You'll leave."

"Veronica-"

The girl shied away from Janis' touch. She gave her a pained look before scuttling up the stairs and into her room.

Veronica backed up into the corner of her room, breathing heavily. She sinks to the ground, burying her head into her knees. She had said too much. Just with that information alone Janis probably thinks she's a freak.

No...

A monster.


	7. open the door and let me in

The next day, Janis acted like nothing had happened between the two cousins, and Veronica appreciated that. She was glad that they could just move on, even though she knew Janis was probably thinking about what she said every time they make eye contact.

School dragged on slowly and Veronica was sure she was never going to get her damn antidepressants back. She was too nervous to ask Regina for them. It sucked. She had had gum in that bag.

Gaylien: who wants to come reenact lord of the flies with me

AfricaByToto: ITS??? FOUR IN THE MORNING????

Gwetchen: JANIS FUCKING GO TO BED

Gaylien: bitch im gonna Fight someone for a Conch and some specs

team.mom: JANIS MIRANDA SARKISIAN

cornHub: woh ur middle name is Miranda???

Big Gay: Angry Mom is here

team.mom: GO TO BED. LET US SLEEP.

Gaylien: no

troybolton HAS MUTED THE CHAT

Gaylien: :O

Gaylien: bitch

Gwetchen: Power move

Gwetchen: NOW SLEEP

babyblue: Hey, Janis, I'm up. I'll act out Lord of the Flies with you.

AfricaByToto: RONNIE NO-

Gaylien: yesss!!!! thank you Ronnie!!!!

Gaylien: im in the backyard come join me

babyblue: Coming.

team.mom: JFC

Gaylien: I HAVE THE CONCH

Gaylien: I HAVE THE CONCH I GET TO AKDJAJDJAJSNAD

troybolton HAS UNMUTED THE CHAT

troybolton: What the fuck

babyblue: It's my conch now, bitch.

Gwetchen: Ronnie just fuckin killed Janis

team.mom: Wonderful! Maybe this idea wasn't so bad after all.

AfricaByToto: skkdhajdjajsn REGINA!!!

Big Gay: WOW

Gaylien: bitch

Gaylien: nobody can kill me

Gaylien: except maybe Ronnie at this moment because she's pointing a big ass stick at me

Gaylien sent a photo- herstick.jpg

Gwetchen: r u guys using a rock for the conch???

Gaylien: bitch does it look like we live around a beach

AfricaByToto: who is who???

babyblue: I think I was Simon but I've evolved into Roger and Jack.

Gaylien: im Ralph!!

Gaylien: RALPH DOESNT DIE RONNIE STOP THREATENING ME WITH YOR STICK

troybolton: yor

cornHub: yor

Gwetchen: Janis is about to be fucking murdered but she continues to type to keep us posted

Gaylien: I HAVE THE CONCH!!!!!

Gaylien: DAMIAN IM COMING OVER MAKE SURE THE WINDOW IS OPEN

Big Gay: WHAT

babyblue: You literally just gave away your position.

Gwetchen: r u srsly chasing Janis over a rock?

Gaylien: IT'S A CONCH

babyblue:

babyblue: And yes.

Veronica did, in fact, chase Janis. Her cousin bolted out of the backyard and onto the street. Veronica did her best to follow, but she eventually grew tired and her lungs burned for air. She skids to a halt and heaves her breaths, placing her hands on her knees.

When she looks up, Janis is nowhere to be seen. She has no idea where she is, as she never memorized the streets or neighborhood. It's dark and the streetlights cast an eerie orange glow on the asphalt. Shadows crawl across the ground.

Veronica shivers and turns around in a few circles. She calls out for Janis. No answer.

She sighed and walked back to the house. Because of all that running, she was tired enough to finally sleep. Except she couldn't. Because the door to the house was locked.

Veronica awoke to the sound of street noises and birds, which were two times louder than usual. She pries open her eyes and winced at the white light that stabbed into her retinas. She rubs them and then shivers, realizing that she was freezing.

That was because it was snowing. And she was laying outside.

Veronica sat up straight, blinking multiple times. Now she remembered. She had been too tired to call Janis or do anything and just...sat down on the ground. She must have feel asleep and it had snowed overnight. She was lucky she didn't get hypothermia or frostbite.

Veronica pushed herself up, shaking harder. Her muscles crackled when she moved. They, too, were frozen. And in pain.

She hobbled out to the front yard and looked around, dazed. A neighbor from across the street was getting her kids into the car for school when she saw Veronica. She gave her a puzzled look and Veronica just stared back at her, equally as confused.

"I can't believe you made us sleep outside."

Veronica turned around to face the ghosts. Heather had her arms crossed.

"It's freezing! And snowing!"

"Sorry," Veronica said, her voice weirdly hoarse. "I was tired! I just kinda passed out!"

"We know." Kurt said. "We were there. We watched with our eyes."

"I assumed so." Veronica says.

Heather walked up to the girl and pressed the back of her hand to her forehead, making her flinch backwards in surprise.

"Why are you touching me?" Veronica blinked.

"You're burning up."

Veronica rolled her eyes.

"Like a ghost would know a human being's temperature."

"Veronica, you're leaning into my hand."

"So? You're cold!"

"Probably using her cold skin to soothe your burning skin." Ram says and Heather nodded knowingly.

"I'm fine!" Veronica pulled away, but missed the cold feeling on her head. She wouldn't admit it out loud, but she was uncomfortably hot, despite it being freezing outside. "It's probably just from me shivering. Shivering does generate body heat!"

Heather looked at the boys, who shared the same expression as she did. Unbelieving.

From across the street, the woman with the children stared at the girl talking to no one.

"What's she doing, mama?" One of her little boy's asked.

"I'm not sure." She said.

"She's probably crazy." Her daughter piped up.

"Most likely."

Since it was a Friday, Regina invited everyone over to house for a sleepover. Veronica had looked up from her journal when she heard these plans during lunch, but didn't say anything. When Regina noticed her, she smiled kindly and clarified that that meant her, too. Veronica smiled back, even though sleepovers sometimes made her a little uncomfortable.

Still, she went over with a bag of clothes. There, she greeted everyone and introduced herself to Regina's mother.

"Hi," She said shyly, offering her hand for a handshake. "I'm Veronica. Veronica Sawyer."

"She's Janis' cousin." Regina said.

"Oh, hello, honey!" Mrs. George chirped, shaking Veronica hand enthusiastically. "Make yourself at home!"

"I haven't seen my real home in a month, but I'll try!" Veronica joked, but her laugh was dry and nobody seemed to catch on to her dark humor. She cleared her throat, "Thank you, ma'am. Your hospitality is very nice."

"You can go up to my room," Regina said, practically saving Veronica from more humiliation. "Everyone else is up there. Janis can show you where it is."

Janis nudged her cousin playfully before walked to the large staircase, Veronica shuffling after her like a duckling.

Once they were out of sight, Mrs. George turned to Regina with a concerned look.

"Is she the one who you said had post-traumatic stress?" She asked.

"Yeah," Regina whispered. "Don't bring it up, though." She paused. "You could tell?"

"Oh, honey," Mrs. George laughed slightly. "That girl is terribly shaken up. Her hand was trembling. Keep me posted if you ever find out why!" She patted her daughter's shoulder before prancing off to the kitchen.

Regina blinked before snorting lightly and walking up to her bedroom. Janis and Damian were challenging each other's gayness while Cady, Gretchen, and Aaron cheered them on. Karen watched with an amazed look. Veronica was sitting quietly by her bag.

"Sorry, kids," Regina said while walking in, "But Damian wins."

"Haha!" The boy threw his arms up into the air. "Too Gay To Function wins!!"

"I'll be back for round two later." Janis threatens before laughing.

After calming down, the gang sat down in a circle on the floor and began playing truth or dare. The bedroom became a laughingstock, as either embarrassing secrets were shared or someone had to do something outrageously stupid. Janis really wanted to ask Veronica why she had PTSD, but she didn't. For now.

Veronica was actually having a lot of fun. She laughed so hard she fell over at one point, her legs flailing in the air. When she pushed herself up, everyone was beaming at her, pride in their eyes. She hadn't looked so alive like this before.

It's a shame it didn't last.

At one point, the group started to derail when Regina's dog came running into the room. Karen started to coo about the puppy and then Mrs. George peeked in to check on the kids.

"We're okay, mom," Regina said, "We better continue the game already, now, or I'm gonna blow myself up!"

Veronica's face paled. She heard laughter buzz in her left ear. He was awake. She wanted to cry.

"I'm gonna go to the bathroom." She said while standing up. "You guys continue without me."

"There's a bathroom in here." Regina says.

"Uhh... I like privacy." Veronica said before scuttling out, passing Mrs. George, who watched her for a moment.

"Same." Damian said. "Okay, Karen, truth or dare?"

"What's up fidget spinners!" Aaron yelled while walking back into the room after getting snacks. "I'm back." He sat down. "Oh, Janis, you might want to check on Veronica. She looked like she was about to cry."

"What? Why?" Janis snapped her head around to look at him.

Mrs. George was about to duck out of the room, but she lingered back over to the door to listen.

"She was breathing really heavily when I passed her in the hallway. Did she eat something bad, or...?"

"SHIT!"

Janis snapped to her feet and rushed for the door, concern for her younger cousin twisting in her heart.

"Remember when I said she had PTSD? Well, she didn't tell me why, but my mom said that random words can make her go into a panic. Like guns and explosions or stuff like that." She swallowed hard, "I'm gonna go check on her. Everyone keep playing. She hates when attention is drawn to her."

They all nod and Janis walked out into the hallway. She knocked on the bathroom door. There was sobbing coming from inside.

"Veronica?"

A sharp yelp of what she could only describe as pure terror.

"Veronica, it's just me. It's Janis. Can you let me in?"

A few whimpers.

Silence.

"Veronica?"

Sniffling.

Shuffling.

The lock clicks.

Janis opens the door. Veronica is standing up in front of her. Her eyes are puffy and red and she couldn't cover up that she was crying even if she tried.

"You okay, Vera?" Janis asked, tentatively touching her cousin's arm. "You don't look too good."

"I'm not feeling too good either." Veronica mumbled.

She twists on her heels and slumps down in the corner of the bathroom. She's shivering violently. Everything around her is doubled.

Janis walks over and sits down next to Veronica. She wraps her arms around her cousin and pulls her in close. Veronica flinches, but relaxes and leans into Janis completely. Soft sobs shake her thin body.

"Wanna go home?" Janis asked quietly.

Even though Veronica really wanted to leave, she shook her head. She couldn't drag Janis down anymore.

"I'll be fine." She whispered before moving closer, much to Janis' surprise. "Just-just give me a minute."

Damian and Regina walked into the bathroom fifteen minutes later, concerned as to why the cousins weren't back yet. Inside, they found Veronica snuggled securely against Janis, asleep. There were tear streaks on her cheeks, but she looked peaceful.

Damian offered to carry Veronica to a guest bedroom, but Janis did it herself. She didn't want Veronica waking up in someone else's arms and then panic.

"You're such a good cousin." Damian cooed once Veronica was in the bed. Janis elbowed him and walked back to Regina's room.

"She was hurting. The least I can do is stay with her until she calms down."

"Such a softie!" Damian squealed, hugging his friend tightly.

"Soft Janis? This is the best thing ever!" Gretchen laughed.

"Is Veronica okay?" Cady asked.

"She's sleeping." Janis said, sitting back down on the floor. "I think she's okay now. Let's get back to playing." She paused, "But keep it quiet. Wake Ronnie up and I'll kill you all."

"SOFT JANIS!!" Damian cried in joy, not caring about his upcoming death from the girl next to him.


	8. w e b s

"I hope you guys had no other plans for today because we're going camping!"

Of course Cady was the one to present this idea.

It was around eight-thirty in the morning when everyone had finally woken up from all the fun the night before. Well, some of them woke up on their own while others had to be shaken awake. Or got music blasted in their face. Like Gretchen, Aaron, and Veronica, for example.

They were all in the George's fancy kitchen, eating breakfast Mrs. George had made for them. They peered up from their omelette and bacon, giving Cady a strange look.

"Camping?" Regina said slowly. "Really?"

"Yes, really!" Cady says with natural enthusiasm. "My parents and I go to this really good place. Just think of all the fun we'll have. We can roast marshmallows and put up a tent and watch the deer, the whole nine yards!"

They all exchanged looks. Cady was a nature freak, but in a good way, and they didn't have the heart to turn her down. She did deserve her pick of something to do, after all, since she had to deal with them all the time. (You might even call her the second-in-command Team Mom, right behind Regina.)

"Sounds good to me." Janis said, smiling at her friend. "It gives me more of a reason not to do my history report!"

"I haven't gone camping in years." Aaron said. "It'll be nice!"

"Yes!!" Cady cheered, "Thank you! Thank you!"

So, that's what they did. After spending the day doing things in actual civilization, the gang packed up Regina's car with things they might need and drive off to the campsite Cady knew about. They arrived a little after six. It took around thirty minutes to unpack and get set up, but they were all eventually sitting on logs around the fire Damian and Janis had started, a task Regina was hesitant about giving them.

"Let's play a game!" Damian said.

"Hippo," Gretchen suggests.

Veronica tilted her head. She didn't know if this was a normal camping game, as she has never gone camping in her life, something that apparently mortified Cady when she brought it up. The Heathers were never into the sort of thing, sleeping on the ground and all, and neither was she. In fact, the thought of being out in the middle of the woods scared her. Even if it was a populous camping grounds, there could always be someone lurking in the trees with a machete and a crazed grin.

That's why she had initially been reluctant to tag along. She already felt like she had a cold and didn't want to ruin this for anyone if she had an attack or something. But Janis insisted that "The dream team has to stay together" and she went along because that made her a little bit braver. She was apart of her own clique again. It made her heart swell.

"What's Hippo?" She asked.

"It's like Truth or Dare." Damian answers, "Except it's a little nicer because nobody has to chug a bottle of hot sauce or kiss the opposite sex even though everyone knows you're gay." He glared at Cady, who smiled innocently at him.

"Basically you can ask anyone any question you want and they have to answer no matter what." Regina explains. "But if someone can prove that they're lying, they gets to slap them for not telling the truth."

"Oh." Veronica laughed slightly. "Fun!"

"I'll go first." Gretchen says, "Aaron- Kiss, Marry, Kill...Veronica, Cady, and Damian."

"Oh, easy!" Aaron says, "I would kiss Cady, marry Damian, and..."

Veronica raised her eyebrows at him. He bites his lip.

"Wow, Troy!" Janis barked while laughing, "You'd Kill my cousin?"

"I'm sorry!" Aaron exclaimed, "I don't know her well enough to marry or kiss her or feel bad to kill her!"

Veronica started to laugh loudly, almost falling off of the log she was sitting on. She wiped her eyes and grinned at Aaron.

"It's no big deal! Now, ask a question. It's your turn."

"Okay...well, since you brought it up, Veronica," Aaron looked at the girl, "What is the stupidest thing you've ever done?"

"Oh, definitely going to that Remington party sophomore year." Veronica said. If she could, she would have answered with how she accidentally killed three people, but this sounded better and it revolved around the incident.

"Oooo, a party?" Gretchen said, interested.

"I thought you weren't the type to go to parties." Regina says.

"I'm not," Veronica laughed slightly. "Remington parties were these big college parties hosted by frats or something like that, and I had to go because I was friends with this group of girls who were all named Heather and they probably would leave me in a ditch if I didn't attend, so..." She shrugged her shoulders and took a sip of the soda Damian brought, "Basically I drank to try and get rid of my misery, got sick, threw up on my best friend/the lead Heather's shoes, and then was exiled from the group anyway."

She didn't know where the ghost of Heather Chandler was (or Kurt and Ram for that matter) but she kinda wished she were here to hear this. Just because she wanted to see her reaction to how she considered that a stupid event.

"Wow." Aaron said, laughing slightly. "Yeah, that does sound pretty stupid."

"I would go to a Remington party." Karen piped up and Veronica laughed before going to ask her question.

"Alright...Janis!"

Her cousin perked up with an eager look.

"Okay, spill. How do you really feel about me living with you now."

Janis stared at her for a long time before bursting out into laughter. She leaned back into Damian, who she was nestled against, and smiled fondly at Veronica.

"I knew you were insecure but this really proves that!" She said, "I love having you here, Vera! It's been too long since we hung out before this. And you're not a bad resident at all. You're quiet and you like movie marathons! A match made in heaven!"

Veronica felt herself blush slightly. She didn't actually expect Janis to speak of her so affectionately like that. It made her feel better about this whole ordeal.

"Thanks," She said.

"No problem, Vera," Janis says, "Now...Karen!"

As the game continues on, darkness fell over the forest as day turned to night. Laughter and music filled the grove, not dying down even when the clock struck twelve.

Veronica was the first to turn in for the night. She crawls into her tent to get some rest, letting the hum of the grasshoppers and soothing voices of her friends outside lull her to sleep.

Then, her eyes snapped open.

Veronica sat up, rubbing her eyes and checking her phone, which read "12:45" in big white letters at the top of the screen. It was silent outside, so she crawled out of the tent to find the campsite empty. The fire was still blazing. There was nobody in the other tents.

"Guys?"

No answer.

Veronica grabbed one of the flashlights lying around and began scanning the area of the camping ground. There was nobody. Only the sounds of animals.

"Hello? Guys?"

She vaguely remembered them talking about going on a night hike right before she fell asleep, so she stepped out of the fire's light and started to search. She waved the flashlight around everywhere, calling out for her friends.

"Janis? Damian? Regina?" She shouted into the darkness. "Where'd you guys go? Troy Bolton?"

Only crickets and frogs answered her.

Veronica delved deeper into the woods. Fallen leaves and icy grass crunches underneath her feet. She shivered as cold whirlwind gusted around her, her pajamas providing little to no protection from the wind. She regretted not grabbing her coat, but she wasn't expecting it to take this long.

"They could have at least told me where they were going." She grumbled, "Or when they would get back. Or when they left because this is ridiculous!"

A branch snapped loudly from behind. Veronica whirled around to see nobody.

"Guys?"

Bushes rustled nearby.

"Guys, this isn't funny anymore!" She yelled.

There were more snaps an crackles that seemed to come from every direction. A crash sounded from a few yards away, like someone had taken a big log and threw it to the ground with as much force as possible. Veronica thought she heard laughter coming from in the trees. She's spinning around in rapid circles, shining her flashlight everywhere.

Then, a scream. Something lunged out from the underbrush.

Veronica shrieked in pure terror and fell backwards, becoming paralyzed with fear. She braces her arms over her head. The laughter is back. She peeks out and her heart sank.

"Oh man, you should have seen your face, Vera!"

"You...you jerk!!"

Janis jumped out of the way when her cousin flung a stick at her. She doubled over, giggling and trying to catch her breath.

"That wasn't funny!"

"Sorry, sorry, okay! It was just too good!"

She hauled Veronica up to her feet with ease.

"So all of that was you?"

Janis nodded, grinning widely and wiping her eyes.

"God, you put way too much effort into that." Veronica rolled her eyes. "That didn't sound like you up in the trees. Come on, let's hear you do that voice again."

Her cousin gave her a confused look.

"What?"

"The laughter. In the trees. Do it again."

"What are you talking about? I just made all those rustling noises. I never climbed a tree."

Veronica had become pretty good at telling when Janis was lying, so she believed her. She fidgeted nervously.

"It must have just been the wind then." She said, despite how painfully cliché that sounded. "Let's-let's just get back to the camp."

She and Janis began walking through the woods. They walked and walked but it soon became evident that they had no idea where they were going.

"Shouldn't we have found the clearing by now?" Veronica asked anxiously.

"Calm down," Janis said, "We'll get there."

The younger nodded slightly.

"So, was everyone in on the joke?"

Janis shook her head.

"Nope. Just me." She said, "We we're heading back from the hike and I heard you yelling, so I decided to give you a little scare."

"Which was so nice of you." Veronica deadpans.

They stepped out of the trees and onto a gravel path, which wasn't even remotely familiar, but nothing was said about it.

"It was funny!"

Suddenly Janis' phone rang. She quickly picked it up and while Veronica muttered something about how she getting service out there.

"Hello?"

"Janis?"

"Karen!"

The blonde's voice came clearly out of the speaker, with a bit of background noise.

"Janis! You picked up!"

"Karen, listen, I'm with Veronica. We're kinda lost. Do you think you can help us out?"

"Umm..."

Karen fumbled with her phone.

"I really can't."

"Then give the phone to someone who can. Like Regina. Or Troy Bolton."

"They're not with me."

"What? Why?"

"Uhh... I'm kinda in some ranger tower."

"What?!"

Janis sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"How did you- Okay. Listen up... Stay where you are. We'll come and get you."

"Really? Thank you!"

"Yeah, yeah. No problem. Hang tight, we'll be there soon."

Janis hung up and scouted the trees, catching sight of the ranger tower looming in the distance.

"How did she even get there?" Veronica asked.

"I have no idea." Janis answered, "It's Karen. She can manage to her herself in the weirdest places."

"True."

The two of them set off for the ranger tower, using the flashlight and glow from the moon to guide them. During the walk, Janis noticed that Veronica was shivering and rubbing her arms. Her teeth flattered against each other loudly.

"That's some thin material," She said, nodding at her pajamas.

"Huh? Oh, yeah." Veronica stuttered over her chattering."

"Here."

Janis slipped off one of her jackets- she was wearing, like, three- and draped it around Veronica, who immediately pulled it closer. The coat was really big on her, practically drowning her frame, but it was warm and snug.

"Thanks." Veronica smiled at her cousin thankfully.

Slowly but surely, the pair moved through the trees to get to their set destination, finally arriving at the tower. There, they hiked up multiple flights of stairs to get to the top.

"Alright, Karen," Janis called once they got to the top, pushing open the door, "We're here!"

The blonde was perched out the windowsill, peeking outside like an excited child on a car ride. She craned her head around and beamed at the cousins.

"You guys came!"

"Well, of course we did!" Janis said while walking over.

"So nice," Karen cooed before looking back out the window with the curiosity of a cat staring at a laser pointer. In her defense, though, it was a really pretty view.

"How'd you get here?" Veronica asked.

"Not sure!" Karen laughed, "I just kinda got lost and wandered up here for shelter.

"Classic Karen." Janis said.

Karen giggled in agreement.

"Yup," She said. "Classic Karen!"

She grinned and teetered backwards out the window. Veronica and Janis watched her fall in shock before rushing over to the window, screaming.

"Karen!!"

"Oh my god, Karen!"

They both peered down into the blackness below, mouths hanging open. It was too dark to see anything and they could hear no signs of life.

"Oh. My god." Veronica muttered, backing away, "Oh my god! She- I didn't know if things were- Was she upset- Oh my god!! She-

"-killed herself!" Janis cried, "She just killed herself! Oh my god. Why?"

She has her hand over her mouth, eyes wider than saucers. She looks to be in more of disbelief than grief.

"Holy shit. Holy shit!!"

She ran for the staircase with Veronica on her heels.

"I can't...I can't believe this. I-I know I haven't known her long, but this- What are we going to tell the others?" Veronica says in a rush.

"The others?" Janis yelped, "Shit! How do we tell them? How do we tell her mother?"

That question was left unanswered as they got to the bottom of the staircase. Veronica's flashlight shined onto a large dark red splotch in the grass, but no body. It made her stomach twist in morbid confusion.

"She's...alive?!"

She glanced at her cousin, who was biting her nails.

"No way. That had to be over a fifty foot drop." Veronica said. "Even if she didn't die on impact, how'd she crawl away so fast?"

"I have no idea, Vera."

They were completely stumped. There's no way Karen could have fled that quickly. Or survive, for that matter. That was her blood all over the ground.

"I need to sit down," Veronica muttered breathlessly, sitting on one of the steps, "How do we explain this to the police? 'Yes, hello, officer, our friend just jumped out the window but, uhhhh, there's no body on the ground when she landed. Hope you understand.' They're going to think we're insane! Or that we did it. Janis, they might think we murdered her and this is out stupid coverup! I can't go to jail!"

"Nobody is going to jail!" Janis said, but she looks equally as nervous about the possibility. "It was suicide. They can't charge us for witnessing a suicide!" She paused. "...Right?"

"I don't-I don't think so. But they can suspect us. Or charge us for not doing anything. Maybe. I-I don't know any of this law and legal crap!" Veronica put her head in her hands, "I didn't think things were bad for her. And even if they were, doing this- Janis, this is so horrible."

"I know, I know." Janis said.

She sat down beside her cousin, who leaned against her. They both stayed huddled up on that step for awhile in silence, trying to wrap their heads around what happened. It seemed to lucid for Veronica, as this was the first time she witnessed an actual suicide and not a murder she had to coverup as one.

"Let's just-" Janis was the first to speak up again, "Let's just get back to the others. Maybe that's where she hobbled off to."

"Yeah... Maybe."

The two moved away from the blood patch and ranger tower and back into the trees. They were mostly silent, unsure on what to do after what they saw. The tension was so thick you could probably cut it with a knife, but, luckily, two voices from the woods helped clear up the awkwardness.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Anyone?"

Veronica perked up. Those were Cady and Aaron's voices!

"Cady? Guys?"

"You hear Cady?" Janis looked at her.

"Yeah! Don't you?"

"No.."

"Hello?"

"Janis?"

"Guys, I'm here!"

Veronica started running towards the voices, completely forgetting that Janis was even with her until she was out of sight. She yelled into the darkness, thinking she saw someone in front of her, running away.

"Hey!" She called out, "Slow down! Wait!"

The trees started to open up. It was Cady who was running, the moonlight showing off her terrified features.

"Cady!" Veronica yelled, "Hey, slow down! What's wrong? It's me. It's Veronica!"

Cady hobbles onto a wooden bridge in an open part of the forest, breathing heavily. It connected two cliff faces together. She whipped around to face Veronica and began to back away. Her eyes were wide. Scared.

"Hey, what's up?" Veronica stopped at the beginning of the bridge, giving Cady some space. "You look like you've seen a ghost. Are you okay?"

Cady looks like she's panicking when Veronica takes a step forward. She looks around everywhere and then flings herself off the side of the bridge.

"Cady!!" Veronica shrieked.

Cady went everywhere. A jagged rock pierced through her stomach and ripped her apart. One arm fell all the way to the bottom of the trench while a leg got caught on a point and was entirely torn free from her waist. Bright red blood spilled out in every direction, along with an overcoat of other bodily fluids. If you squint, you can probably see the contents of her stomach drooling down a stone.

After many horrible thuds that were accompanied with the horrendous sound of bones snapping, Cady was finally fully impaled on a sharp spire, tangled up in a position that wasn't humanly possible. Her upper half was twisted up towards the sky, while her bottom half was curved down at the ground. She's stabbed through the waist, tilting herself at an angle. Her stomach is gouged wide open with long, gooey intestines hanging out. Her one arm is broken, bent into an impossible position that's stretched out across her with the bone protruding from the skin. Her waist and whatever is left of her right leg is barely even connected to the rest of her body, dangling from a few threads of flesh, and the icing on the cake is the rock sticking out from her mouth.

Veronica is looking over the edge of the bridge with a mortified look, watching helplessly as her friend is mangled by the rock pit. Her mouth is ajar, eyes bulging in their sockets. She's frozen in her place for the longest time before throwing up. She finishes and sputters in disbelief and shock.

"Cady! Cady- Oh my god. Why? Why?!"

She stumbled onto her feet, backing away from the sight of the gore-fest down below.

"I don't understand..." She mutters. "Why did you do this? What happened?!"

Veronica exhales a big breath and runs her fingers through her hair while pacing back and forth.

"There's no way I can tell the others about this. First Karen and now Cady? No way..." She said and took another deep breath, almost throwing up again as the pungent smell of a dead girl fills both her mouth and nose. "I'll just act like I wasn't here! Y-yeah... That'll be fine."

She started to walk away from the gruesome mess, rubbing her palms over her eyes. The image of Cady's bloody, mutilated corpse was burned in her mind. She was so busy thinking about it that she almost missed the eyes peering out at her from the underbrush.

Veronica jumped around, seeing nobody. She thought she heard something scuttling away, but she really didn't want to chase after anything else. It had to just be her imagination, though, she tried to reason. This all was just in her head. A dream.

She moved quickly as thunder rumbled overhead. She had to figure out a way to wake herself up because all of this was just getting ridiculous.

By some stroke of luck, Veronica stumbled upon the campsite. Everything was in its place. The fire was still burning brightly. In fact, fresh logs had been put in not too long ago.

Veronica starts looking through the tents, finding Gretchen asleep in her sleeping bag, undisturbed by the craziness going on out in the forest so close to her. Veronica sighs at the sight, almost laughing at how funny is seems. She crouches down into a puddle to wake Gretchen up.

"Hey, Gretch, do you mind getting up?" She said, "Have you really been sleeping this whole ti-"

She stops.

Why is she kneeling in a puddle? Or rather, what is she kneeling in?

Veronica looks around, squinting in the dark tent and finding a spilled over water bottle. She laughed slightly and went back to shaking Gretchen.

"Come on, Gretch." She says, "Time to get up! I kinda need you right now."

Gretchen didn't wake up.

Veronica sighed heavily, slightly agitated at this point. She shook the girl harder, speaking louder.

Nothing.

"Gretchen. Come on. This isn't funny anymore. It's just getting annoying."

No response.

Veronica rolls her eyes and shoved at Gretchen. When that doesn't work, she starts to unzip the sleeping back, finding that the water has soaked through the fabric, too. She grumbles to herself.

"Oh my god, Gretchen." She groaned, "Have you always been this deep of a sleeper? This is insane."

Veronica flips on her flashlight to shine it in Gretchen's eyes and finds that it isn't water she's kneeling in.

It's blood.

What could possibly be gallons of hot blood is pooled inside of the tent. Gretchen's blood is all over Veronica's hands and knees and pants and shirt. There's a huge, stained kitchen knife sitting by the pillow.

Gretchen's wrists are slit down the middle and all the blood has been drained from her body, collecting into a big red lake at the floor of her tent. Her skin is colorless, almost transparent. There's a note by the knife with the words **"L I F E S U C K S"** scrawled in black ink. But what scares Veronica is what's written on the back of the paper:

 **"Remember this? ;)"**

Lightning crackles as Veronica stumbles backwards out of the tent. She grabs one of the handguns that were brought along in case of an emergency and sprinted away, screaming for her friends. Or, rather, whoever is left, that is. They could be dead for all she knows. Her heart clenches in guilt when she remembers how she had just left Janis behind.

Rain was falling, now. Veronica was battered by a freezing cold spray of water that soaked her to the bone. Her pace of slowed significantly. She had to squint so those subzero jerks couldn't stab her blind.

It became so bad that she had to stop and rub her eyes. The storm was insane and Veronica could have spun around in a computer chair one hundred times and feel less disorientated. She stumbled blindly through a stew of mud and slush, her vision so hazy that she didn't even notice the hillside she was hobbling towards until she stepped off the edge.

Veronica violently tumbled down the steep hillside, feeling like every bone in her body was breaking in impact. She landed roughly in a heap, twitching and groaning. She's covered in mud and her clothing has ripped, freeing any bare skin to the elements. Her knees are skinned raw, practically glowing neon pink and bright red.

She staggers up, wincing as sharp pains crawl up her right leg. She lifts her foot off the ground like a dog with a thorn in its paw as it feels like every tendon in her ankle has just been slashed. She had to hobble and limp forward, nearly crying out in pain every time her toes merely brush something. Then, she stumbled right into the clearing where Janis, Damian, Regina, and Aaron were all standing in, talking quietly.

"Guys!" She cried out in relief.

"Vera!"

Janis raced over and hugged her tightly.

"God, I was so worried! You ran off and I couldn't find you. What the hell were you thinking?!"

"I don't know," Veronica mumbled, exhausted. "I'm sorry."

"It's...it's okay." Janis said. "Just don't do it again!"

"Not planning on it!"

"Yeah, what matters is that we're all here." Regina spoke up.

"I don't know..." Aaron rubbed his arm, "I felt a lot safer when she wasn't here." He nodded at Veronica.

Damian blinked at him. Janis leans back into his arms securely and he holds her protectively.

"Aaron, what are you talking about?" He asked.

"I mean, doesn't anyone else think it's strange that bad stuff has never happened until she tagged along?" Aaron said, "Everything has just gotten worse ever since Janis' new creepy weirdo cousin joined the group. She's always ruining the experience and just about everything we do with her attacks and trauma."

Veronica winced. She always thought the same thing but it hurt more to have it said by someone out loud. Someone she thought she could trust. Someone she thought cared.

"This is clearly her fault. It has to be her fault."

"Okay, let's not fight. It's nobody's fault." Damian said, trying to keep peace, but his comment wasn't heard.

"My fault?!" Veronica snapped, "Why does it have to be my fault?"

"Why does it have to be your fault? Are you serious?"

Veronica clenches her jaw, glaring daggers at Aaron.

"Everyone looks at you like there are cat ears sprouting from you head. There is something wrong with you." He turns to the others, "You guys know it, too, right? She's not right. She's messed up."

"Messed up?!" Veronica yelped. "It would take a really sick person to see it that way so I would love to hear your explanation!"

"Funny you say that because the sick one here isn't me, Veronica. It's you."

Veronica took a step back away from him. Her blood was boiling in her veins.

"You don't know what my world looks like!" She cries, "You don't know how I feel and you sure as hell don't know what made me like this, so you have no right to talk like you know everything about me!"

"I know enough." Aaron said, "Everything was fine until you showed up."

"Do you think I chose this?" Veronica snarled, almost baring her teeth. "I never asked to be like this or to be shipped off here or to have this...this burden. It's not my fault my body just decided to give itself PTSD one day!"

Regina, Janis, and Damian are all weirdly silent. The Janis Veronica knew would have jumped in by now. She wonders why she hasn't.

"Soldiers and veterans and cops have PTSD as well. I guess that makes the messed up, too, huh?"

"That's different."

"Oh, yeah, because 'protectors' can't be considered wrong in the head, right? Just because they served in the army or some shit doesn't mean they can't be messed up."

"The difference between you and them is that they wouldn't just let someone kill themselves."

Veronica felt every muscle in her body tense up. So she had heard Aaron when she was running after Cady. She wonders if that was him in the bushes.

"What are you talking about?" Regina asked.

"I'm talking about how Cady is dead because of her."

All eyes turned to stare.

"This one didn't stop her when she neared the edge of the bridge even though she was close enough to do something. And she died. Cady died!"

"That doesn't make it my fault!" Veronica cried, "Anyone- Anyone else, any one of us here could have been there and watched her die, you unbelievable cunt!"

"'Anyone' wouldn't have watched her fall, Veronica. Anyone else would have done something."

"You weren't there so you have no right talking like you know what happened!" Veronica yowled, "Unless you have one hundred sewing needles or healing powers, Aaron, you could have done nothing, okay? She went everywhere. She fell onto some rocks and they ripped her apart."

Veronica's voice became softer, weaker.

"You didn't watch her fall. You didn't watch as her leg was torn off entirely from her body or her blood splatter in every direction. I wanted to do something, I really did, but there was nothing I could do. She was dead."

"You don't-"

"-know for sure?" Veronica cut him off, "Last time I checked, Aaron, the small intestines should not be hanging out of the body. Her insides came out. I saw her organs!"

Aaron's eyes are narrowed into a hate-filled stare. Veronica counters with the same stare.

"You are just a clueless jerk, Aaron," She said, growling deep in her throat. "I don't know what your problem is or why you're targeting me, but none of this is my fault. I didn't cause this madness. I didn't even want to come in the first place, so get off my dick."

"You know what you did."

Veronica's whole body tense up. Aaron couldn't possibly know what she had done. She grits her teeth and shoots daggers at the boy.

"Who the hell is clutching your cock, Aaron, because it certainly wasn't me." She said, trying to stamp down her rage and fear. "You are just spewing nonsense. Like-like just because I witnessed Cady jump does not make it my fault. Just like how you think you can put all the blame on the new kid, too. I haven't done anything to you!"

"You didn't have to."

Something is wrong with Aaron's voice.

"It's all your sins catching up to you."

Veronica didn't know if he was lunging out at her, but she felt like he was, so she raised the handgun and shot him in the neck, killing him instantly.

Lightning strikes and thunder roars. Aaron's lifeless body falls to the ground. Rain is coming down harder. Veronica runs away, almost forgetting about her wounded ankle.

She trips and tumbles face-first into the mud. Her nose is bleeding. Her hands are shaking. She didn't want to shoot Aaron and she certainly didn't want to kill him.

Tears mingled with the blood and mud and rain water on her face. She kept remembering about Kurt and Ram and cried harder. She looked up after awhile, sniffling and gasping. The trees are laughing at her.

"Why are you doing this to me?" She shouted into the storm, "What do you want?"

"Oh, darling, I never wanted to hurt you."

Veronica freezes.

JD is grinning at her from the tree line, his eyes malicious and hungry. He licks his lips and takes one big step forward, causing Veronica to jerk backwards. He reeks of the dead.

"Get away from me!"

"Aww, don't be like that." JD cooed, taking another step. "I just want to help you."

"You should be dead!"

JD stopped, his grin turn into a frown. Anger flits in his eyes for a moment. Lightning crashes and Veronica can see the shadows of who she thinks is Regina, Damian, and Janis standing by the trees.

"What are you doing?" She demands, a small growl in her voice.

"Nothing you should worry about," JD replies cooly, "It's been a long time, Ronnie. I've missed you."

"I haven't." Veronica spat and JD laughs.

"Oh, how feisty!" He titters, "Let's catch up. You like your new friends, don't you? You want to protect them, don't you?"

Veronica is quiet, watching JD closely as he circles around her like a bear stalking its prey. She nods slowly.

"Yeah."

"Good!" JD smiles, "Good. I love that I get to hear your voice again. It's really quiet where I usually am. You know, after I killed myself? Yeah, I went to this dark place. It's so lonely."

Veronica thinks the exact opposite. She hates the sound of his voice. It's like venom in her ears. JD is a snake, his word scaly and poisonous, just like he is. She wants him to just shut up.

"Go away," She growled lowly. "Go away! Leave me alone. I know you aren't real, none of this is real, so don't even try!"

JD stared at her hard, unmoving, unblinking. Then, he pulls out a pistol and shoots Veronica in the leg.

The girl howls in pain as blood spurts out from the bullet hole just above her knee. A horrible burning sensation ripples through her skin. Within seconds, her hands are fully covered in a coating of red. She thinks she might have blacked out for a few seconds.

"Does that feel real, Ronnie?! Does it?" JD roared, "It is real enough for you?!"

"Fuck you!!" Veronica screamed and she's shot at again.

She flinches and the bullet grazes the side of her neck. Her skin burns and a long, angry red streak is opened up in her flesh. She presses an already bloodied hand to the fresh wound, gasping. JD had been aiming to kill her.

JD lowers his arm, his eyes bright with primal insanity. He looks rabid.

With animalistic fury, he charges forward and grabs Veronica by the hair before she can flee. He hooks his fingers in her scalp, carving hot red crevices into the back of her head using his dirty fingernails. He draws her in close, his mouth pulled back into a snarl.

"Watch what you say, Ronnie." He said lowly before shoving her to the mud.

Veronica is gasping and wheezing, like she had been choked. She's foaming crimson at the lips, gurgling on her own blood. She lays there like a broken doll before her conscious mind comes back. With shaking arms, she pushes herself back up into a sitting position. It hurts to turn her head. Her leg feels painfully numb.

"Now," JD clicks his tongue. "Let's see how much you love these new friends. I was just going to kill them, but might as well make it fun, right?"

He just wanted to make her absolutely miserable.

"What are..you talking about?" Veronica grunted, her question punctuated by a wince.

Her answer is when lightning flashes and she sees a bomb strapped to Regina's chest. Veronica's heart sank in fear. The blinking red timer began to count down from thirty.

"N-no!" She cried, "Turn it off! How do I turn it off?!"

She tried to push herself up to run to Regina, but sharp pains shoots up her wounded leg and she collapsed to the ground again. She tries crawling, desperately wanting to save her friend from a gory demise.

"I'm hurt, Ronnie." JD said, "You didn't act this panicked when I was hugging a bomb."

"Tell me how to turn off the goddamn bomb, asshole!"

JD ignored her as the timer struck ten seconds.

"JD!"

"Better step back, Ronnie."

"JD, please!!"

Orange and red momentarily lit up the clearing. Bits and pieces of Regina exploded in every direction. Blood splattered across Veronica's body, almost soaking her completely. An arm smacked her in the face. She was sure other fluids got into her open mouth when she screamed. The explosions was loud enough to render her deaf and left her ears ringing.

"No..." She uttered in horror.

"Oooo," JD faked a wince. "Too slow. Let's move on!"

Veronica is trembling harder. Regina's blood is sticky and warm on her body. The pungent metallic scent is so strong she almost vomits.

"Let's do the gay kid next!" JD said, holding up his gun. He's smiling widely, like a kid in a toy store.

"Leave him alone!" Veronica yelled, attempting to stand up, but to no avail.

"Make me."

JD is testing her. His are glowing with malicious intent.

"Mess with me all you want but leave them out of this!"

"Too late."

JD pulls the tigger, shooting Damian right between the eyes. The boy falls to the ground, red looking under his face. Veronica is frozen. For a moment, there is nothing but the sound of the rain falling and the gunshot ringing out to silence.

"Oh, what a disappointment you've turned out to be, Veronica." JD says, cooing in pity.

"Why?" She cried, "Why are you doing this? What do you want?"

"Oh, you silly little girl," JD tutted, shaking his head, "I'm doing this for you! It's all been for you."

"You think that this will make me happy?!" Veronica stared at him in disbelief.

"It will." JD said simply.

"No it won't!" Veronica reprimands, "None of this will make me happy! You are no different from when you were alive. You're ignorant and blind and sick and you think that your morbid fantasies will make me happy, but they don't, JD, they don't! You will never make me love you again so why are you still trying?"

JD is silent for a moment. Then, he screeches in anger, like a demon or banshee waking up to unleash chaos on the world. Fury dances in his eyes like hot embers.

"Because I love you!!" He shrills.

Veronica ducks under his outstretched arms and manages to scramble over to Janis. Her cousin seems to just disappear before her eyes when she gets close. Her heart sinks.

"Awww, there goes your cousin." JD purrs, "I guess she won't always be there."

"No, no, no, no, no!" Veronica sputters, "No, Janis! Janis, c-come back! Please, I need you!"

"All you need is me, Ronnie."

Veronica whipped around to face him, glaring and growling. Despite the fact that she was in a lot of pain and covered in blood, she felt hot anger build up in her stomach. Messing with her friends was one thing, but messing with her family, messing with the one person she always trusted and felt safe around, was a big step over the chalk line.

"Bring her back!" She yelled.

"I'm sorry, darling. What's done is done." JD said nonchalantly. "She's gone now. Forever. You don't need her. Just like how she never needed your dragging her down."

His voice is horribly distorted, like a hundred different people are talking at once. He looks like he's rotting, his skin decaying and melting away rapidly. His smile is still sickeningly wide.

Thunder booms in a deafening chain. Veronica leans against a tree, breathing heavily. She clutches Janis' jacket closer to her. Even though it's ripped and muddy and soaked in blood (which isn't all of hers) it still provides her comfort. It's like her cousin was still there. It helps when there's a sharp pressure in her temples and JD leers at her evilly. The storm rages harder.

"Why are you so determined to hurt me?!"

JD smirks.

"Because I can."

He laughs in hysterical madness. He stalked towards Veronica, who cowers the closer he gets. She tried to flee, but her injured leg keeps her immobilized. She's trapped like a rat at the paws of a beast.

He forces himself onto her, strapping a pack of thermals to her chest. Veronica was screaming like she was being raped, trying to push JD off or at least wriggle away, but he was too big and she was too weak. He had her hair in his hands. The beeping of the timer was like nails on a chalkboard. Veronica cries out, scratching at her chest.

The last thing she saw was JD's grin as he backs away and looms menacingly. And then, pain. White hot agony exploded from her heart.

"No!!"

Veronica shot up, clutching and clawing at her chest. There was no bomb. There was no JD. There was no blood or gore soaking into her flesh. All of her skin was intact. She was alive.

In fact, she wasn't even out in the forest. She was in the tent, in her sleeping bag. Her phone said it was almost five in the morning.

Her body was soaked in cold sweat. Her breathing was heavy. Fear coursed through every vein. She was on high alert.

Veronica crawled outside and checked on all the other tents, finding that each and every one of her friends were there and very much alive. Cady was fully intact, Gretchen's wrists weren't slit open, Karen didn't have a single drop of blood on her, Regina wasn't in pieces, and there wasn't a bullet lodged in the boy's skin. Janis was still there.

Veronica allowed herself to breathe and sat down on one of the logs surrounding the fire. She poked at the embers with a stick, hoping to wake up the flames so she wouldn't be cold and in the dark. A flashlight was just a grim reminder of what she saw, so she didn't even want to look at one.

Then, there was a pressure in the side of her head. Leaves crunched right behind her.

"Hey, Heather." She croaked, not even turning around.

The smell of coconut and roses and drainage cleaner always accompanied her arrival. A sickeningly sweet aroma.

"You look terrible." Heather says bluntly.

"Thanks, it has taken me all night to get like this." Veronica says and starts speaking again before Heather can comment on that, "Where are the boys?"

Kurt and Ram smelled like gunpowder and the forest (and just a bit of too much Axe). Veronica always wonder what the ghosts do when they aren't around. Are they watching her but are just invisible or is there some ghost world (heaven?) they can hang out at?

"I don't know," Heather answers while sitting down on the same log. "Alright, now spill."

"What?" Veronica blinks at her, "What are you talking about?"

Heather rolls her eyes.

"Why do you look like you've been hit by a truck?"

Veronica looks down at the ground, clasping her hands together. She's quiet for a moment.

"I had a nightmare."

Heather raised an eyebrow.

"It was...so horrible, Heather." The cobalt girl continues, "It was like a mirror of real life, but if real life had all of my darkest fears in it... Karen killed herself. And then Cady killed herself, too. I-I think she was scared of me." She swallowed hard, "Gretchen's wrists were slashed the same way Heather Duke was supposed to die back at Westerberg... And there was the suicide note I had to write for her." She shuddered. "Then I found the others- after falling down a cliff side- and Aaron started yelling at me for how I ruin everything for the group, which-which is pretty true, but still... He started blaming me for everything that was happening in the forest a-and I thought he knew what I did and I got scared, s-so I...shot him. I didn't want to, it just happened! And then I saw Him."

Veronica's thin body trembled harder.

"I saw JD, Heather. He-he was there and he looked so real... It was just so horrible, Heather. It was so terrible."

Veronica put her head in her hands.

Heather had listened quietly, thoughtfully. She nodded once Veronica had finished, choosing her words carefully. She set a hand on the smaller girl's back.

"Well, know that it was just a dream," She said. "You're safe. He can't hurt you anymore."

Veronica nodded slowly, looking up a little. She sniffles.

"It'll be okay." Heather comforted. "You're okay. Everything you heard and saw wasn't real. These people adore you, Veronica. JD is just a cruel, manipulative, abusive bitch who wanted to hurt you. He was trying to get into your head. But everything he says is a lie. He has no idea what the hell he's talking about."

Veronica moved closer and rested her head on Heather's shoulder, who allowed it. She wonders if the ghost has ever confronted the spirit of JD. What if she and the boys ward him away from her? No way. They wouldn't do that for her! Well...maybe.

"Thank you, Heather." Veronica said softly.

"No problem." Heather replied, wrapping an arm around the smaller girl.

The two of them shared a tender quiet moment. Veronica let herself relax, feeling safe around the alpha she-wolf she was curled against, even if she was just a ghost and would eventually phase through her. The bonds of the nightmare retracted away, but lingered in the back of her mind hauntingly. Still, she felt secure enough to let her eyes close.

Heather glanced at her then at the edge of the woods. She narrowed her eyes and hissed warningly at the grinning blue figure in the tree line.


End file.
